The Smiley Melancholic

always hopeful but never expect

2012-01-21T22:44:00.000-08:00

not even sure what that title would mean.

hopeful. "i hope that tomorrow will be better than today."

expectation. "i expect tomorrow will be awesome and greater than today."

.....

promised that i would post a few pictures of my trip to S'pore here in my humble blog.

so, there you go..

....

oh ya..HAVE A GREAT CHINESE NEW YEAR everyone..

dragon year for the win..

flowers in december

2012-01-01T01:59:00.000-08:00

Before i skipped a month post, i just want to let you know that by far, December 2011 has been a heck of series of drama. im not even sure whether it's right or not.

from drama in my office, personal struggle and friendship. Thank God. whatever happened, make me who i am today. Glad to see Joel back in town after all these years. Met up with him with Desmond just the other night. i celebrated new year with my lovely boyfriend at waterfront kuching, just to see a glimpse of fireworks. heh. "madot" in a way but thats okay.

my cousin Azul got married during Christmas and we had tons of fun. So far, it has been the best wedding i have ever attend. Mum and i were dancing and we were singing along to wadever record was playing. Surely a wedding to remember. will post up a few pic of the wedding later.

Weekend at Singapore

2011-11-09T03:01:00.000-08:00

Erm, went to Singapore last weekend with Syafiq. Had lots of fun.

Especially at the Universal Studio in Sentosa Island.

Day 1- 051111

. Touch down

. Lunch

. Checked In

. Head down to Orchard Road

. Straight to Arab Street

. I called it a night

Day 2- 061111

. Sentosa Island

. Universal Studio Baby!

. Cable Car

. Marina Bay

. Esplanade

. He called it a night

Day 3-071111

. Breakie at Alesandra's Ikea

. Head down to Changi's Airport

. Chillax at the airport from 1.30pm till our flight at 6.20pm

can you see me in the future?

2011-10-16T04:30:00.000-07:00

tadaaa. i am still imagining the future pregnant me.

please read the previous post if you dont know what im talkin' about. woot woot.

random future.

2011-10-16T03:29:00.000-07:00

"I think i may have found a good design for my bride of honor dress for my cousin's wedding."

......

Lets just skip the marriage part and straight to pregnancy part instead.

....im imagining myself sun-bathing by the pool or by the beach with my cute bikini on any other the weekend and went swimming in the pool with my baby inside my tummy. i look glowing and definitely cute-r than ever. my boobs obviously would be big and oohh.. my skin, definitely radiant. i will drink/eat/bath milk everyday....

Whoever my husband will be, here's a heads up for you, I PROMISE I WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY as long as the time would allow me to.

Yes. I am that random and lame. So much for such positivity.

So, my friend asked me the other day, why go to pregnancy part and skip the marriage part?

so i told her, thinking of getting married or settling down depresses me.

Sad but true. Seems like everyone is settling down. Honestly, im happy for them. Too bad for me, i dont really trust the ceremony or anything that goes with it. Seems fake but fun. Especially those who planned on having a big, lavishing and a fancy wedding.

I encourage you not to do it!

PEOPLE ARE too focus on the beginning part which is the wedding but not the marriage itself.

Its a big responsibility and a tough commitment to be involved with in the first place.

Dont do it just because everyone is doing it. Its not worth it.

Wonder how i know?

When you know, you just know, you know?

Dinner in, Dinner out

2011-10-15T23:39:00.000-07:00

catching up with Roza. It's been awhile.

Been spending money like water i tell you and i cant take it anymore. Im broke right before the middle of the month. Its not like i spend it on buying things. No. Just hanging out and eating out made me broke. i got myself pedicure and did my facial. Went to the saloon so someone could just massage my head. Gosh! i have got to stay at home from this moment on. Till the end of the month at least. Haizz.

Amy's farewell -high tea and dinner. She's leaving because she has a better offer at her fiance's office. They getting married in November. Woah. Such obsession that the fiance has for her make me ...errmmm..... *yawn* . But that is something that most girls would wanna envy her, right? A man that obsessed with her. He controlled her to the point that she would rather lie then confront him even its just going to the movie with a few friends.

I should feel sorry for her. But i dont. Why? She's getting married for God sake.

And that my friends, WOULD CHANGE EVERYTHING!

October-fest?

2011-10-15T21:11:00.000-07:00

yeap. i still look like a boy.

And No. im not going anywhere. Its just a title that represent this so-called October. So, teen-years decided to pay me a visit when i suddenly remember the songs of Naruto's soundtrack that i've been listened to. I guess the highlight of me being teenagers was Naruto. There's also The Corrs. Yeap. They decided to drop by somewhere late September. I guess September really ends yea?Thanks Aisyah and Kak Norrafidah for introducing me that. You guys rule.

I know not many knows about this blog of mine. Even if they do, they might have forgotten about it. But that's okay. At least I have a freedom to write or rant whatever i want in here. I have also de-activated my facebook account. Im much a happier person now. Of course there's ups and downs but here i am, trying to celebrate life as it is.

Went to the immigration with mum today to get her a passport. Saw an old friend of mine. Awkward much but i did have a courage to say HI first. I feel awfully lazy today too. Feel like cant get up from my bed.

angry post.

2011-10-08T18:39:00.000-07:00

i feel like crying right now. Friday was our 3o months anniversary. He didnt do or say romantic things at all. Arrgghh. i dont want to talk about my boyfriend now.

Called a few friends since last night. Didnt even get a return call. Wanted to talk to them so much. Somehow I feel ignored by them. One said the "attitude" is not cool at all. One said im being "emotional". what can i do when im having a period cramps and theres no one around the house to talk to.

No. No Boyfriend today. Today i feel so alone. Cause hes been ignoring me too.

Didnt make it to my aunty's this morning cause my stoopid uncle went somewhere else. My Aunt and my uncle are going to perform Hajj and i wanted to see them leave.

Why do things didnt go my way lately! i hate working. have to stay late every single day to do this monster-in-humane-corporate-people! Gotta update my CV and resume pronto. I gotta leave from that office.soon.

Aisyah dearest

2011-09-26T05:21:00.000-07:00

Please dont be mad at me for not posting your pictures in my blog. i just couldnt find a good picture of myself when im with u. BECAUSE YOURE TOO PRETTY! GOSH! HENCE, im gonna post this few pictures of us during hari raya which i find...ure too pretty and i look like a boy sitting next to you. ahahah. had a great time with you, Syah... and i enjoyed your company all through your holidays... Till next time okay?

When September ends.

2011-09-24T05:55:00.000-07:00

these two shots, means a lot to me.

......

Hello. Syawal is ending soon and Eid has been quiet moderate for me. There's also a lot of drama been going on too. but i dont have the heart to write about it because it makes me sad. Just wanted to upload a few pictures to summarize my September .

as you can see, i cut my hair short! it was a long story but the point is, its short!

had a great time cam-whoring with Roza. She left from my house around 1am that night/morning.?

me and my colleagues. this one taken during Ramadhan and Syawal.

Hari Raya Deco that i picked up from here, there and everywhere.

with my beloved cousins.

end of Ramadhan..hello Syawal

2011-08-28T14:24:00.000-07:00

As i type, today is the last day of Ramadhan.. Tomorrow is Hari Raya.. Lat year, we didnt really celebrated raya as our beloved Grandmother passed away.. and this year, my uncle is really pressuring himself to celebrate raya in style. we got the house painted -inside and outside. Mum baked 2 types of cakes but i bet it will tasted the same. and yours truly baked a few cookies. no, no they won't taste the same. its gonna be a long day today. lots of things to do. Waiting for Suboh prayer now.

And yeah, i already have a few plans for the upcoming September. on top of the list, water! i dont even know why. okay, toodles.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO ALL READERS.. harap ampun maaf dipinta.. jika ada terkasar/ tersilap bahasa..

The Red Velvet Cake

2011-08-07T18:54:00.000-07:00

One of my weekend project.

first attempt of the red velvet cake: succeed. yeay!

HEllo August

2011-08-05T22:31:00.000-07:00

and please be nice.

him: *staring at her with a little smile on his face*

her: what are you looking at?

him: you

her: something's wrong? *touching her face in case some left over food laying around on her cheek*

him: no. something right.

her: *touched*

hows Ramadhan has been;

-my Snowie gave birth to 3 beautiful kittens but 1 of them had died.

-been working a lot and on the second day of Ramadhan, i had to work til 9.30pm. had iftar at the office too.

-been missing my boyfriend. barely see him these days. Even if we did see each other, it is only for a short amount of time.

-mama got stung by a bee. seeing her little feet which was swollen makes me giggled. it looks so cute. but she's in pain. how could i.

-socially scared.

that's all for now. toddles.

july has been

2011-07-30T07:41:00.001-07:00

so-so. i had enough fun and enough work to handle. been re-evaluating myself too. i have decided that i should talk less about other people and listen more.

Next week, my cousin Raof or Aup will bring his parents to KL to do some shopping for raya. I used to called him a lot of things because he can be very annoying (when we were growing up) and last few June, i did it again and i cant believe it. Cant believe i called him stoopid just because he cant read and count. Hes having dyslexia for God sake. How can i said that to him. i think im the one whos stoopid by saying that. i should have apologized to him the next time i see him.

Been talking a lot. and i hated myself for that. i wish i can press the undo button every time i said something about other people and when i talked non-stop for 10 minutes. just STOP NURUL! JUST STOP!

Dear God, please make it easy for me to get through in this "phase" of life.

Ramadhan is approaching and hopefully, this time around our "ibadah" will be accepted by Him. Insyaallah. Pray hard AND do work smart.. Peace..

our bus-trip

2011-07-17T07:06:00.001-07:00

had a great Sunday with my love.

Went for a bus-trip around town with my love. From Saujana to Muara Tabuan to Jalan song and then back to Saujana. Picked him up from his house then we headed for breakfast at Beemers.

Off from Saujana Bus Terminal to one of the Muara Tabuan bus station. From Muara Tabuan, we walked to Stutong park (another 2-3km walk in the park) and then we had lunch at Simply Sedap (not that Sedap afterall). Then we took a bus at KPJ (another 2km walk) to Jalan Song. We headed to One Jaya for a little window Shopping. I had my very first red-velvet cupcake there and it tasted great!

From Jalan Song, we took a bus back to town, Saujana Bus Station that is.

We Met a lot of people and had a good walk! 30000 steps perhaps? We play the guessing-games while waiting for the bus and i think i had wayy too much laugh today. Wasn't even on my medication.

That is all :)

Mid- year holiday

2011-07-17T03:16:00.000-07:00

i wish to have this kind of holidays every year. And yeah, Sabah Rocks!

turning-in

2011-06-21T05:04:00.000-07:00

Greeeeaaaat...im turning him into Mee Sapi Haji Salleh lover and a cam-whore :)

Orange Range!

2011-06-20T03:34:00.001-07:00

A day trip to Annah Rais

2011-05-11T04:27:00.000-07:00

look at the background *pointing at the picture*

For the last few weeks, I've been working a lot. Doing extra-hours every weekends and honestly, it's been tiring. Been fighting with my boyfriend a lot too. On the day of election last month, we decided to take a "time-out" and get away for a day from the so called city-life. We went to this Bidayuh Village at Borneo Highland where they have "au de-natural" hot spring in their river.

passed-by the only coolest place in Borneo i must say :( Actually, our planned was to go here but it was bloody expensive for a day trip. RM250 per person!!!! heck NO!

tadaaaa

welcome to the Annah Rais hot-spring

very funny looking signage. "hey you! you go back home and don't come back!
if i see your face again, i will tell your mother to tell my dog to bite you, then you know!"

Nope. I didn't take any picture at the hot spring nor the river. As soon as we reached there, we just wanted to jump in the water and cool ourselves before we soaked our feet in the Hot-spring. Wait. We have to pay for the entrance fee RM5 per person. It's been fun when we got there because there was just the two of us. Fooling around in the water, splashing here and there, shake our cute butts like no one care. heyyyy, it rhymes! Well, it's been a good experience and a heck of a weekend :) because the next thing i knew, i got my period and a fever! I had 2-days sick leave and handful of drama to handle.

my heart ache

2011-04-09T17:51:00.000-07:00

i realized i didn't talk or write much about my boyfriend, Syafiq in this blog because i think it is best left it in my thoughts and my heart only. but today, i want to write something about it and i wish i could just forget this ever happened.

"when we did the right thing, people won't remember but when we made mistake, people never forget..." -Jarut-

Early that night, everything was perfect. he came to my house with his bicycle, and then we went for "night-ride" around the neighborhood. Hangin' out at my house because we were both was already tired of cycling.

Then we had a big fight on our way to send him home.
-
-
-
-
-
A big fight to the point that he said that i have broken his heart and even text-ed me "please don't reply or call.."

I don't know what to do. Seems like he put our relationship on-hold\ hanging mode.
I don't even know why i bother writing about this.

I guess he tried his best to be a good boyfriend but in his own term and definitely in his own way. I didn't noticed it. I may have catch a glimpse of it but i think i was already too late.

April update

2011-04-06T03:32:00.000-07:00

hello readers. Just wanna update about "things" in my life for a bit. nothing much, really. but im just gonna post it anyway for me to read in the future.

Tomorrow is our Second Year Anniversary.2 years ey. Cant believe im "in a relationship" in the first place. Honestly, we didn't have any plan whatsoever.

me: Tomorrow is 0704. Do you know what day it is?
him: The first time i take you out.

*****
Works been awfully a lot lately. barely have times to play Tetris (a computer game) that i used to play in the office.
i hate draughting. i make the worst draughtswoman in the world i tell you.
no more designing interesting space other than plain/boring offices and the detailing. been designing some corporate (the eff???!!) signages too.

really, im tired of work. my whole body, eyes and even my brain refuses to do another CAD sessions.

also, ive been working over-time during Saturday.
hopefully i can use and spend the money into something useful.
At work, i have always look forward for lunch time. that is the only time that me and my colleagues catch up with one another .

im really looking forward for my trip to Sabah this coming July. kinda excited just to "think" about it.

*****
im currently using my new and improved home desktop. feels weird ey using Window 7.
when my pc was sick for about 3 weeks (i think), ive been reading books and did a little gardening. tanam sayour sawi. tapi belum molah bakut. kelak ngatornya. nya gik kecik gilak.
pretty useful i must say, the time i spend while my pc was in coma.

that's all for now.

yeaaay! happy birthday to me!

2011-03-20T02:46:00.000-07:00

aneem forgot my birthday.this cake was bought a day after.
oh well. better late than never right?

roza dearest made this cake especially for me. thank you. it was yummeh!

yours truly is officially 25 y'all

on a side note:
1) Im loving all the presents that i have received.
2) I have to say, im a little terrified being 25, really.

#marchwish

2011-03-02T02:52:00.000-08:00

and I Pray to Allah that,

my heart will always at ease,
my brain will always at peace,
my health will always at its excellence,
my mum will always smile and laugh,
my skin will glow,
my bowel movement to be smooth,
and my love will flourish...

p/s will try to spend RM100 (max) a week.
gotta save up that $$$.

my summary on Nuar's weeding last last weekend

2011-02-21T02:34:00.000-08:00

UPACARA AKAD NIKAH
- all is well. im too sick to noticed anyone or what was going on

WEDDING RECEPTION AT FOUR POINTS
- im wearing this lovely cheongsam. tho i was on my period pain/gastric/ferev-ish, i still look good (otedah, sikda orang muji.aku muji dik mpun)

-the ceremony was alright. the stage was alright.

-the bride looks stunning but she could use a little bit more smile.

WEDDING AT THE GROOM'S HOUSE
- the stage "pelamin was too big and empty

- the bride & groom was wearing purple but the pelamin was red+white.
(what's happening, really, i dont have a clue)

- the food was awful. im saying this because this is what i heard. people talk you know, and i happened to be around but i pretended to mind my own business. i didn't eat much because i didn't like the food.

-was having a fever and my mum doesn't give a rat-ass about me! tho she did says she care about me but she left me at home, alone, for 4 nights i tell ya!

- family picture. i believe, there will be none because they happened to hire an awful photographer and he's incapable of handling the crowd. he goes around and says something like "hey, who wants to take picture with the funny looking couple, come to the stage.." he didn't exactly said that but thats what his face looked like when hes taking pictures.

sosadsosadsosad

So, next month, a good friend of mine asked me to be an usher for her lil bro's wedding at the Sarawak Club. And also, my godfather's only son, Abang Azul is getting married by December.

Insyaallah, its gonna be awesome!!!

Love, peace & harmony

weddings

2011-02-19T00:32:00.000-08:00

last week, my cousin got married. no i didnt take any pictures of them couple because they are not the nicest people in the family. haha. just kidding. (naah im over it. wont go around and spread my negative crap to the public).

i was sick last week. period pain + gastric + sore throat + growing wisdom tooth , can you imagine how sick i was? and then recently, fever + flu.
believe me, i have draft this post before but i left it in my office. i will talk about it in the next post k? just wanted to show you some pictures from my humble phone and the quality isn't really there i have to say.

Me! getting ready for the wedding reception at the four point hotel

the "Pelamin" at the hotel. honestly, i kinda like it. it was charming i'd say. especially the tree and the chandelier.

me and my long lost cousin. i love having her around. so sad that she has to leave Kuching again. so much for her pursuing her dreams. i wish her well.

so, there you go. i will update my blog again, once i got my draft paper inside my drawer in the office. i promise. right now. my nose is blocked and cant really think or write straight.
kthnxbye.

Beaver + Duck =?

2011-02-06T06:42:00.000-08:00

here's a story of our little inside joke today.

"..it was rainy and stormy night, deep in the woods, Mr Beaver made a mistake by doing "it" with Ms Duck. Ms Duck found out shes pregnant. Thus, the baby/mistake is called The Platypus. One heck of a rare Mammals.."

it was one beautiful mistake, comes a beautiful? Platypus? what?

EPIC love.

Reds & Blues

2011-02-05T01:41:00.000-08:00

Love is Blue
Cinta is Green
I Love You
Like Planta & Margerin

Okay.These day, I have been neglected EPL pretty much the whole season.
Now, that I know Torres is Gone from my beloved club and Kenny has become the club manager, I'm looking forward to watch EPL once more. I believe in Kenny's decision to let go off Torres.

WELCOME and hello LUIS SUAREZ!

Kenny Dalglish is a legend you know. And as a legend, he knows whats best for the club.

I just hope Stevie G wont give up with Liverpool just like I did. Stay. Please do stay. I believe you will be the next Dalglish M.B.E. Wait. You already ARE a legend :)

Looking forward for tomorrow's match ey. Chelsea vs Liverpool. Best of luck to the Reds.

something to talk about

2011-02-04T02:48:00.001-08:00

i miss taking pictures. i do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Y-rfBGtAck

New day is here

2011-01-01T20:35:00.001-08:00

"No resolution no regrets" - Charles N.

This year, im turning 25 years old. That's 1/4 of century. To get to live till today, i only have God to thank for His blessings. And to my awesome mother, my beautiful family and friends, thank you.

Its the unknown, scares me. What the future hold, terrifies me. If i could just brainwash myself so that i won't worry to much and just let God takes the wheel and have faith in Him, life (this year) will be much better.

Between dreams and reality, normally i would just choose reality over dreams. But this year, I'll try my best to live up my dream. And believe me, it is not THE time to shine.

And to the love of my life: we may not know where this relationship is gonna take us, but until then, lets make the most of it. *cheers, love*

greetings 2011...

2011-01-01T20:33:00.000-08:00

Welcome to another year where life will define itself through times.

Blessed new year everyone.

obnoxious masseuse!

2010-12-27T01:53:00.000-08:00

Well, a few weeks ago, my friends and i were involved in a car accident. To make that story short, i had a minor dislocated on my left shoulder. Yes, it hurts but i went to Chinese Physician a few days after the accident and the doctor fixed it already. All in all, I'm fine. But at times when i indulged myself with a little cold drinks such as smoothies or chocolate ice blended, my shoulder started to feel the pain (again), therefore, i have to restrain myself from having cold drinks since then. Do you have any idea how "easy" it was?

Now, I'm looking for a good masseuse or better known as a chiropractor. After several days of looking for the "available" masseuse, i still couldn't find one. They are very well demanded by high-er society here in Kuching. They would give me reasons not to give me a massage. "i don't massage at night", "I had a fever", "I'm packed in the weekends" and bla bla bla. In certain ways, i do feel offended because i don't belong to that high class community and yes, i needed them to fixed me shoulder PRONTO.

If any of you who still can't figured out what are you going to do when you are graduated, or looking for a job now, here's a little tips for ya, be A MASSSEUSE. Before you know it, you'll be mixing with high class people with a higher salary! Eh, its a good source of income what. If you don't mind, do not get the license for your practice as for the income-tax people will look for you and that can't be good idea. You know lah, when you get such an amount of money after every massage session that you did, you can afford to buy that iPhone 4 that you've always wanted within a few days I'm telling ya.

Indeed, a masseuse has a good income. Especially here in Kuching. There goes my brain fart for every readers. And for that, I Thank You for reading this post.

trip to Damai Beach

2010-12-22T05:02:00.000-08:00

at the beach

after dawn

karaoke time!

X-MAS IS HERE BABY!
AND i got A PRESENT!!!

gorgeous girls night out

us and man-made waterfall!!!

jarut and her yoga post. funneh!

so called-synchronize swimming

so! the last 2 weeks, i got a room for 2 days and 1 night which i spend it with my mother and my cousin, Jarut. had a great time there. really great time. theres also my colleagues around and we had a great time together too. woah. 3 times of "great" sounds so wrong ey?

ps: been longing to say this for months!!!! BRUNO MARS is so like the dude from Kpg no.5. the one who always with his guitar at the road side in front of his granma's house. some said he lookd like Filipinos / Thais / Indonesian maybe but i bet hes from our very own Kpg No.5. Dont you think so?

simple pleasure

2010-12-18T00:01:00.000-08:00

...simple pleasure in life CAN be fulfilling...

...simple pleasure in life IS what i need...

on the side note:- miley's fans hated jonas's fans who hated demi's fans. demi's fans hate bieber's fans and bieber's fans are nice people. we hate everyone. word.

working life so far

2010-12-17T20:54:00.000-08:00

you know what, i love my job. yes, it can get be boring at times but i enjoyed it.
despite i am invincible in my superiors eyes, i don't mind, really.

i need to find an extra job to have a side income because i think i spent a lot (who doesn't).
and i kinda miss, me too. ME TIME.ALONE. IN MY FORTRESS.
but that's not my main concern and i'm not here to whine about it.

am glad to be part of the team

2010-12-17T20:41:00.000-08:00

i went to the site during the week and i had a blast.

i come to realized that going to the site, i learn more.

despite the heat and dust, i'm fine and i had a great time at the site.

look at this pic above. ain't that wonderful?

i happened to have quite some time to edited em pics. nice no?

...last night...

2010-12-09T02:28:00.000-08:00

yaah! he finally dressed it up. (im surprised ey!)

yer...Nurul tried her best to dressed up too...

Got it from boyfie last night for our 20months anniversary. i dont know why i counted by months. there were 5 white roses and 5 pink roses. arent they just gorgeous?

kamek rasa nak pengsan bila dapat bunga. haaaiiiiyyyaaak! gney towk?

i really appreciated his effort and i really am thankful :D

hi December!

2010-12-09T02:23:00.000-08:00

.office trip to Damai Beach.
!we had a blast!

making a birthday card

2010-11-07T03:44:00.000-08:00

its been a loooong time since i did a birthday card.
well, i just happened to make one, last 2 weeks.
its for my bf who happened to celebrate his 23 y.o. birthday last week.

i forgot how hard it was. even with advance tech and software such as photoshop, illustrator and all, it is still hard for me to come up with an "original" piece of card.

so, i ended up with a cut and paste picture from the net and put em together in the so-called card.
also, i did a little bit of editing for his picture (that i secretly took when he spaced-out while we were waiting for our turn at the mall)

boo! there you go! a little sneak peek of the birthday card...

im not as creative as i used to be...

but the important thing is, he loved it...

probably because i might have said something in the card that made him laughed...

ehe.

THE END.

A walk in a park

2010-11-06T07:07:00.000-07:00

.me hand.
half-awake smile
.on the seesaw.

NOTE TO SELF: Life is not always a walk in a park.
But when it does, please be thankful and grateful for the life that you have.
Because some, might have it worst.

hipstamic effect?

2010-11-05T08:03:00.001-07:00

new day new beginning

2010-11-05T05:53:00.000-07:00

update: yesterday, my family is no longer needed Kak Tiah's service.

Therefore, im maid-less. Thus, most of the chores, my mum and i would "compromise" to help one another.
Mum would do most of the cooking and laundry while yours truly will be more into organizing and cleaning. well, also, a little bit of cooking.

note to self: dont ever get married.

Unless you are crazy in love, you are not you, you are willing to share your life and compromise and you want to have a nasty but legal sex life. ok? just kidding.

Liverpool suck balls these days. but after last night's match against Napoli for uefa league, there might be hope for the Reds. and yes, im still in love with Gerrard (especially after he score his very first hat-trick since.....FOREVER!)

work: blerkh...i love what i do, as long as its not involved detailing.

friends: Been missing my girl Aisyah terribly. Charles is here. been hanging out a lot with him and Dez during the weekends. and yeah, Roza too. Lets bowl sometimes again soon.

family: Everyone has their own business to look after. Thus, ignorance IS bliss.

i skipped a month entree?

2010-10-02T07:34:00.000-07:00

woah..after all these years (of blogging life), i had never, ever, skipped a month to post something in my blog no matter how busy i was... but i did. last september. "wake me up when september ends" perhaps yeah? its October alright.

today is my granny's 40th day of passing. so we did a little tahlil at home. its good to see some familiar faces again.

updates? not so much of an update i guess. im just gonna post some pictures of me and my PU's family when we had our Hari Raya Gathering last week.

owh..the preparation........

smile everyone...smile i say...!

the food..all i had was lontong and it was courtesy of aneem's mom.
loved it!

"monters" of the day...

me with the suppliers...

*the end*
...

Good bye Nek Nah

2010-08-31T00:11:00.000-07:00

-AL FATIHAH-
1922-2010

My Beloved Grandma passed away last week (23rd August 2010) at 7.05pm.
And she's 88 years young.

i was not by her side when she draws her last breathe.
But i did talked to her and caressed her arm before i leave for buka puasa at Hilton that evening.

i dont want to talk about feelings or emotion right now because i dont feel like it.

...........

last but not least,

"I LOVE YOU Nek Nah...with all my heart...
You have protected me from the bad bad world and you've loved me unconditionally...
You took care of me when no one else were and you were always on my side regardless what people said about me...
I LOVE YOU...
and yes nek, I will take care of myself like you always told me to...
I will not bring this family shame and you can count on it...
I promise...
Thank You for everything and again, I LOVE YOU..."

should i, should it not?

2010-07-30T03:45:00.000-07:00

I am thinking of keeping a journal since i dont have a proper diary ever since i was eleven years old. A journal where i could rant and write my two cents . Blog has been great but it is way too open. (even for my stalkers.. yer..mun jak ada)

Being "personal" had done me good lately. Having quite evenings alone, less outing unless it is necessary and i kinda like it. Spending quite sometimes with me TV every night though it has no longer been a flat Tv, but i love my TV just the way it is.

Works been great but each day i have to pray just to stand and make it throughout the day. It doesn't mean i hate my work, it's just that, i cant really "stand" doing "it". Staring at the monitor for hours and listened to the all the crap in the world like "ooh im so jealous of you for having such a wonderful kids, ooh im so "kechewa", ooh im so "mad" at you, ooh im so gonna fart while you're eating" and sadra sadra sadra...

Last but not least, MEH!

I Love YOU

2010-07-27T05:20:00.000-07:00

“‘I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else.

It means that I do not expect perfection from you, just as you do not expect it from me.

It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times.

It means loving you when you’re in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do.

It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with.

‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine.

It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love enough not to let go.

It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, hoping that you feel the same way for me.”

—	(via theflightout) (via insidemyuniverse)

relationship status

2010-07-27T05:04:00.000-07:00

CURRENTLY, yours truly is dating with her Mom.

Dating her is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Just like any other couple, we had some good times and some bad times.
We fought, then we made up.

With her, i can be myself or not. Yes, she would judge but hey, i dont mind (she judging me) at all.
With her, i dont have to worry about future because i know she WILL ALWAYS be there.
With her, i feel like a child again.
With her, compromise is important. So do promises.
With her, there's no such thing as sweet talk because, "sweetness" are in us.
With her, i know what jealousy means and it won't harm me.
With her, public displays of affection wont make other people go "eww" at us.

Tho i didnt really think about her all the time, but the moment that we spend together, glued in my heart.

Yes Mom. i can see our future clearly, Insyaallah :)

Love.Love.Love.
Shes the ONLY Love i know.
and that's, Ever-lasting kind of Love.
There's no other Love feels like this.

many faces of moi?

2010-07-11T05:08:00.000-07:00

maka sigek jak muka.
lamak da jak sik main main dengan camera.
sekali mood ada, banyak kali jak gambar.
inggar dengan dik pun eh.
da da dum dum.

One Fine Sunday

2010-07-10T21:26:00.001-07:00

Moony mooning over me?

meet Sunny & Moony

meet my...

2010-07-10T21:13:00.001-07:00

dreamcatcher !!!!

Bought it in a small shop called Zodiak in Perth..and it is one hell-creppy-kinda shop.
supposedly i should hang it in my room, but i didn't. i like em to be in me car.
its been a while since i have something "disturbing or distracting" hanging in my car.

this is rare

2010-07-10T20:59:00.001-07:00

the 2 years old Norah

2010-07-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

Watching Norah...

growing up...

makes me...

feel old...

...

and i wish her well :)

Have you forgotten by the Red House Painters

2010-07-04T07:27:00.000-07:00

I can't let you be, cause your beauty won't allow me
wrapped in white sheets,
like an angel from a bedtime story
and shut out what they say,
cause your friends are fucked up anyway
and when they come around,
somehow they feel up and you feel down.

When we were kids, we hated things our parents did
we listened low to Casey Kasem's radio show
that's when friends were nice,
to think of them just makes you feel nice
the smell of grass in spring
and October leaves cover everything.

Have you forgotten how to love yourself? [x2]

I can't believe all the good things that you do for me
sat back in a chair like a princess from a faraway place
nobody's nice, when you're older your heart turns to ice
and shut out what they say;
they're too dumb to mean it anyway

When we were kids, we hated things our sisters did
backyard summer pools and Christmases were beautiful
and the sentiment of coloured mirrored ornaments
and the open drapes
look out on frozen farmhouse landscapes

Have you forgotten how to love yourself? [x6

i dont want to miss you dear...

2010-07-04T07:18:00.000-07:00

i really don't want it. but deep down, i think i already miss you. tried to denied it but...

hey. you told me not to worry. you told me that you will be back soon. that we should skype often...

it's only been hours you left Kuching but i dont feel alright at all. today's smiles and today's laughs, i dont think it came from the heart...

this is not right...

this is not how it should be...

.................................................

Holiday aftermath?

2010-06-19T00:08:00.000-07:00

Just got back from a long holiday last Monday.

My holiday went great and i couldn't be happier and grateful for it.

That's us at Fremantle.
...
Now, i'm back to work and hello REALITY.

Gran Torino - Jamie Cullum

2010-05-27T07:13:00.000-07:00

They don't call him Clint Eastwood for nothing. Watching him being stubborn like that, reminds me of my old man. i miss you. May you rest in peace. Al-Fatihah.

give me back my missing things

2010-05-14T19:43:00.000-07:00

.Swim
.Rollerblade
.Ping-Pong
.Cycling
.Aisyah
.Hiking
.Camping
.Gardening\ Landscaping

........

My boyfriend told me that i should get a hobby. i? should get a hobby? i? me? oh dear. i do have lots of hobby. it's just that i don't have the time to em hobby anymore. i know it sucks, but under some suck-circumstances, i couldnt do it. yea, sure, more reasons for not to have hobby. sigh.
trust me, when i found one, i'll be like "my boyfriend? who?" ahahahahahahah kidding!

anyway, 2 more weeks to Gawai ey. Dah shopping tek?
been stressed out on work lately. seems like everyone wants a piece of me.

Nurul, can u help me with this furniture's capacity? Dateline's on friday.
its a five storey building with lots of sectors in it.

Nurul, can u trace back the missing e-mail and re-route it back to our e-mail? and then help me with the presentation to the client? dateline's, by 3 pm. tomorrow.

Nurul, can u help me with this colour scheme of this building? dateline, friday.

Nurul, are done with your Mihrab design? Yea, i promised u on friday right?

Nurul, since there's no one available, i think you should learn how to do the Mihrab's detail. i dont expect much from you, just a simple detail so that i know you are learning something.

Nurul, help me to do the research!!! Presentation by Monday! should be done by Sunday.
Try Google "dolphin". that should help i say.

Nurul, there's a supplier would like to see you.....!!!! (says a voice from the intercom)

i cant find the e-mail, says the Admin to one of my bosses. it's ok, Nurul can handle it.She knows how to solve it. Just pass it to Nurul she says.

Nurul, can u help me with the logo of this letter head? Ask Dom to give the soft-copy to u. No rush. it's not urgent.

Where is Nurul? Nya sik datang ka? boss tanyak ari ya.
I AM RIGHT HERE! RIGHT HERE!

it seems like i have 10 hands instead of 2. People are taking advantage of me but i kinda like it. they're being needy- in a good way but still, im invincible. i kinda like it too. but at times, i need their acknowledgment of my existence too. i am right here, boss! right here. why cant u see me?

hello May!

2010-05-09T07:50:00.001-07:00

day out on the street? ehehe somewhere in the carpenter street.

on my desk @ my workplace..

and lots of "day-out" with my girls. what a way to fulfilled my weekends yea?

-OUT-

my girlfriend

2010-05-07T06:44:00.000-07:00

hello you..
i was wondering, what on earth are you doin' right now..
having fun already there?
hows life?
did you sleep well?
does it really like hakuna matata there?
have u meet anything interesting yet?
do you miss me?
how about civilization?
i just activated my facebook about 2 days ago in-cased you haven't noticed..
just be careful there love..

BurbeRRy

2010-04-26T06:00:00.001-07:00

What do ya th!nk of ma p!Nk BurbeRRy =)
Originally uploaded by Ж~ΡĭŅĶįŜħ♀ÇhëëĶ§~Ж

i now smell like this.

The WFC Summer Camp Hub.

2010-04-26T05:57:00.001-07:00

The WFC Summer Camp Hub.
Originally uploaded by Steve Castle

camping anyone?

IM TORN

2010-04-19T05:30:00.000-07:00

Dewan Bandaraya Kota Kinabalu Landscape Proposal (option 2)

...between Interior Design and Landscape Architecture. Been doin' some landscaping lately. Mostly, rendering some stuff by using photoshop (like the pictures above!) but hey! im learn something okay. Not gonna ask some silly question anymore in this blog for all i know, nobody is going to answer em'..

-the end-

Wilma's resident ID proposal

2010-04-16T23:07:00.001-07:00

A colleague of mine asked me to do some space planning for her house and of course some ID works too. this is only minor adjustment and "small proposal" for her to considered. nothing fancy laar, just enough for her and her hubby to live in comfy home that is.

if it's alright with you then it's alright with me.

@ the living room

@ the kitchen

@ the bedroom

errmmm, what say you?

Gawai Song.

2010-04-12T08:58:00.000-07:00

bila tiba Hari Gawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

semua insan bergembiraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

tetapi bagikuuu

yang tak minum tuak

juga tak minum araaakkk

......

had a good laugh over this song when a colleague of mine suddenly sing this tune when everything was quite in the office.

good times good times

sematan 3rd-4th of April 2010

2010-04-09T03:55:00.000-07:00

major self-cam coming through..

soon after we arrived, we went straight to the beach.
yeah. im bringin' sexy back!

as usual, the "jump" pose. semi-success.

B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L

selamat datai ke sungei siru kecil kawan-kawan

4 dara pingitan

4 dara pingitan lagik!

ok, my cousin kak eena really need to get her NECK checked.
her head keep tilting to the left.

dan saya suka kacau aneem.

now, ambik gambar menar menar bah NuruL!
aok bah!

malam ya, kamek orang berkaraoke.

time tok, lagu apa bah? "yesterday" kah?

baju oren ya, boss kamek orang.

sing your heart out boss!

morning ride people!

after a long morning ride, we strike a pose or two, right in front of the palm beach "statue".

then, its game time baby!

...

i am. tired. glad. game over.

had lunch before we leave. goodbye sematan

*took me about 3 hours to upload the pictures in here
(since i am no longer a facebook user).
sigh.it better be worth it. someday.

so long march..hi april

2010-04-01T23:47:00.000-07:00

*** currently, i am listening to the song that i used to listen in my boyfriend's car.. sigh.. i miss that guy.. soo very much.. at times, i even forgot how he looked like.. geney tok!!?!!

now now, now that we're in the month of April, i just wanna post a few pictures of the highlight in the month of march..

norah is getting more beautiful than ever. not cute. not adorable. but beautiful.

meet Snowie. havent really get a chance to tame her yet.
she bites! not something that i wanna mess with.

mum and the "Kuching" statue.

how cheap can i go?

had dinner with Aqeef. he's leaving soon.
OFF to Sydney for the aviation academy.

-the end-

i know what i want

2010-03-31T03:37:00.000-07:00

i know what i need

................
-the end-

there's no me without you.

2010-03-26T07:07:00.000-07:00

hey, another collaboration between my man, babyface and tony braxton. me loving it but not as much as i love "how could an angel break my heart" laar

here!
~enjoy~

.........

There's no me without you
There's no meaning to life without you
Tell me why should I care 'bout doing my hair
When I can't stop the thinking about you
There's no moon without you
There's no Saturday nights without you
There's no walk through the park
No beat in my heart
No I love you, No I can't live without you

You told me everything would be cool
Said I wouldn't always feel blue
How come I feel like a wreck
How come the skies are all gray
How come my eyes are all red
Why am I alone in bed

You told me everything would be fine
Why am I losing my mind
How come I feel like a fool
Why do I keep losing you
Why do I love in despair
When you're not there

There's no me without you
There's no meaning to life without you
Tell me why should I care 'bout doing my hair
When I can't stop the thinking about you
There's no moon without you
There's no Saturday nights without you
There's no walk through the park
No beat in my heart
No I love you, No I can't live without you

So blue for you
So deep in love with you
So hard to say bye-bye
When you know how hard I've tried
I, I, I tried baby
No No No No

dinner

2010-03-26T05:27:00.001-07:00

for me, having dinner with a company (be it with my family or my friends) mean so much. i personally hate having dinner alone. it has been almost a week now, i had dinner alone. everyone seemed occupied with their own activity, even my mom. i even forgot when we had our last dinner together.

if i have my own family someday.SOMEDAY. i will have all my family member, gather around, say our prayer and eat the food that me and my hubby prepared- with lots of jokes and stories to be shared. every night if possible. cey...you think i will cook dinner by myself, you are soo wrong. think again!

i missed those day, when my family, sat down together, had a little riddles of our own and eat home-cook dinner. sigh.
i miss my family.

my granny is being impossible these few nights. mum has limits too. i dont think she can handle it anymore. babysitting Norah alone is a tough job and now, grany too? i gave up talking to my granny years ago. sometimes, it hurts knowing that granny is not granny anymore. can't even talk to her like i used to. sure i changed her diapers, give her bath every now and then, tuck her to sleep even. but i miss her, my old-granny.

everything is different now.

last december...

2010-03-19T02:57:00.000-07:00

happy belated birthday to meeeeeeeeee~

thanks for the pictures syah...
"I" dont look like "ME" in it...
"I" happened to be more beautiful in the pictures, when the truth is, im not..ehee

pictures were taken by using an old film and old camera right syah?
no digital camera, no dslr.
i love that woman.

************

been busy with work and struggling with sickness lately. struggling? did i just said struggling? but, im fine.really. also, been hanging out with aqeef a lot. gonna watch movie with him and aup later on.

was playing around with my phone at green gallery. this pictures was taken somewhere in late February i think? look skinnier yes? but slowly, i'm gaining my appetite. i need them food to keep me aliveee.

*************

just had the humblest birthday ever!
no expectation means no disappointment.
true story y'all.i don't write fiction.

hello MONDAY!

2010-03-07T20:54:00.000-08:00

-just got my x-rays done...Alhamdulillah..my lung is crystal clear.
still, ive been coughing and getting a cold every now and then.

-been getting this head-ache for 2 days now.

-been seeing doctors and resting.

-been exercising as well and i got to tell you, ive never sweat like that before. totally worth it for 1 hour for some cardio-work and my RM7.

-been dieting too.less carbs more vege. im gonna be honest with you, it doesnt do me any good. ehehe just kidding. it does- for my bowel movement that is.

-today, i spent half of my day with Norah in my hand and it is not an easy task i tell you.
went to the immigration, got my x-rays, went to see my doctor (again) and she's there getting all the attention.

-my car seems to have issues and im not quite sure what happen to him.
nearly skidded at ban hock road this morning. maybe it was the tyre but im not sure.

-ok, im done.its been a long long long morning and i think im gonna rest for a bit.

you better start LIVING!

2010-03-06T07:58:00.000-08:00

MUST.APPRECIATE.LIFE.
-simply because, life is JUST too short-

---------------------

Here's Norah. BEING silly and SUPER hyper-during the evening.

ngeeeee. aku sikda ngajar nya main dalam parit aah!

the dreamer

2010-02-26T05:00:00.000-08:00

syah! look at how crazy this picture turns out!
LOVED IT~ hee

cari jodoh by wali band

2010-02-23T02:57:00.000-08:00

ini akan terjadi apabila selalu "hang-out" dengan kazenku aup...

Apa salahku apa salah ibuku
Hidupku dirundung pilu
Tak ada yang mau dan menginginkan aku
Tuk jadi pengobat pilu
Tuk jadi penawar rindu
Tuk jadi kekasih hatiku

Timur ke barat selatan ke utara
Tak juga aku berjumpa
Dari musim duren hingga musim rambutan
Tak kunjung aku dapatkan
Tak jua aku temukan
Oh tuhan inikah cobaan

Ibu-ibu bapak-bapak
Siapa yang punya anak
Bilang aku aku yang tengah malu
Sama teman-temanku
Karna cuma diriku yang tak laku-laku

Pengumuman-pengumuman
Siapa yang mau bantu
Tolong aku kasihani aku
Tolong carikan diriku kekasih hatiku
Siapa yang mau

aiyai february...

2010-02-20T04:33:00.000-08:00

simply wanna post some pictures that i took with some captions of course..

~spent an evening with Norah yesterday and i think i might have lost 1 kg..
chasing her around with the ball..
sigh..tiresome i tell you..

~never knew Sarawak Plaza had a such an interesting parking driveway..
it's like layers of circles..
gotta love the new handicap ramp that they have it on the side way..

~and yeah, yours truly got a fringe..JUST NOW!
don't mind the editing..was playing around with my phone's application and yeah..
work is tiring..too much of "thinking".. its just TOO MUCH..and i put such much time on thinking alone.. "where's your design?"

gotta love Mew's "Beach"..catchy sound i tell you..

hangin' by a moment...

2010-02-11T05:22:00.000-08:00

i was stumbling around...and found this..
awww
.I think i miss my boyfriend already.

aaah...true true true...

a selfish life..comes with a cost

2010-02-02T05:12:00.000-08:00

so..i was thinking about thinking

the idea wassss

-heard this "saying" like a million times.

"be whoever u wanna be"
"say what u wanna say"
"live like there's no tomorrow"
"laugh like u never laugh before"

the reality issssss

i can't be who i wanna be
i can't say what i wanna say
im scared to be alive
i laughed...well..yeah..like i never laugh before

the person that i wanna be is..well..ME! but it hurt others for me being me.
(its like a crime to be ME)

things that i wanna say..well, hurt others too.. and it hurts me even more when i didnt mean to hurt them..

yea, to u its just another day, in life that u haven't lived in a quite a while..
(dont be mad at me for living the life and ive been alive for quite sometimes now..please dont take that away from me)

i can only "laugh" in order to not hurt others..

...

there was a friend of mine who told me to not to give an eff to what OTHERS got to say about me being me,
but how can i not give an EFF when that OTHERS were among the people that i love?

life is beachy?

2010-01-25T02:36:00.000-08:00

............I see s c a r l e t bokeh

2010-01-24T04:45:00.001-08:00

............I see s c a r l e t bokeh
Originally uploaded by Kimberly Clark... time out, tired of Flickr!

again, love love love

Bokeh

2010-01-24T04:34:00.001-08:00

Christmas Bokeh
Originally uploaded by * andrea .

love love love

cousins

2010-01-24T00:18:00.000-08:00

undeniably hungry (boy) +tired (me)

everybody..watches-UP!

smileeeeeeeeeeee

ordering (aju kit!!!) + angol (iboh nyerin gilak)

muka diat+ muka jaik

bagei isik dan kuku? ahahahahaah

simply wanna post our pictures on the last day b3fore jarut off to labuan..
lekak cuti almost 10days.. itu budak..memang sudah spoil.
i thought shes supposed to climb some mount in KK during THAT holiday what..

and after we had our midnight supper..we went for a serious hunt for KARAOKe machine..
fyi, Karaoke is for people who cant sing only.
if you can sing, Karaoke wont be as much fun as it would be.

ADORE.

2010-01-21T05:49:00.000-08:00

I have 4 words for all of you.

Dazzling Angst.Aching Dreams.

come undone...by robbie williams

2010-01-18T02:44:00.000-08:00

So unimpressed, but so in awe
Such a saint, but such a whore
So self-aware, so full of shit
So indecisive, so adamant
I'm contemplating, thinkin' about thinkin'
It's overrated, just get another drink and

Watch me come undone
They're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street
I pray when I'm coming down, you'll be asleep
If I ever hurt you, you revenge will be so sweet
Because I'm scum, and I'm your son
I come undone
I come undone

So rock 'n' roll, so copper ed suits
So damn ugly, so damn cute
So well-trained, so animal
So need your laugh, so fuck you all
I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to
If I stop lying, I'll just disappoint you

So write another ballad, mix it on a Wednesday
Sell it on a Thursday, Friday, out by Saturday
It's a love song, a love song
Do another interview, sing a bunch of lies
Tell about celebrities that i despise
And sing love songs, we sing love songs so sincere

So sincere

Come undone
They're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street
Come undone
I pray when I'm coming down, you'll be asleep
Come undone
The young pretend you're in the clouds above the sea
I come undone
I am scum
Love your son
You've gotta love your son
Come undone
You've gotta love you son
Come undone

Love your son
I am scum (x6)

its 2010 already????!!!!!!!

2010-01-13T02:47:00.001-08:00

> i started my new year with a company. and some embarrassing thing happened and i wish i could forget it easily.

> started my day with morning walk at some park with my cousin.good walk.good walk.

> started my night with someone's family. a lil embarrassed tho i feel acknowledge at the same time.
then, my busy life started where work seem to be endless.ENDLESS.let me repeat it again, ENDLESS.

> now, im sick like a dog.still, i manage to get my lazy bump from bed and go to work.
and every time i look in the mirror there's this song keep singing in my head and it goes something like; "which mask will you wear today? how about the one with the pretty smile..?"

> finally understood why having a blog as a medium to express the "un-expressed" and most people tend to regret about *the post* later-on in future. i know i do.

> i hate my boyfriend. Can i not like him for a while?

> considering "twitter"..but then again, WHO CARES!

> realized that facebook has become more than just a medium to stay connected. it has become a new world of expression and attention. but, i do have TWO words for it ... {depressed!}{depressed!} ahaha i get depressed whenever i sign-in in my facebook. i wonder why.

> i wanna be a winner! not a loser! i wanna i wanna break free! bila agik ya bah?

> try to plan my holiday for the next next next next next month? ermm gotta get myself a passport first, then off to ................. (yea nurul.you and your wishful thinking)

> the fool wanders, a wise man travels. so, which one are you?

> simply wanna say, i got upset when its raining. i dont know why. (ai lok ho liao!)

> finally, some design work!!! interesting renovation project, but im too sick to think about it. plus, i have 2 days before the dateline. madness. and in my office, KIOSK I TELL YOU. everyone is moving too fast and talking too loud. AAAAAAhhh aku tok demam! dengar manusia kedak ya rasa nak gilaaaaa..gilaaaa eh gilaaaaa.. (keangolan)

> not sure whether i'll be celebrating this year's valentine's day in tears of joy or sadness.
aih.. just thinking about it makes me feel nervous and worry. sigh.

> selalu tekan CTRL + S... sik tauk kenak..dah besa kali..

> > > > >

one of a kind X-mas

2009-12-29T05:34:00.000-08:00

so, santa did grant me some of my wishes. (santa who?)
some came in a good condition, and some came undone.hee

1. i didnt get my psp but i got Wii instead (it came a week before x-mas).

2. i upgraded my pc with a new 160Gb hardisc but my pc turned super slow because of it (done it 2 weeks before x-mas)

3. i've had Aisyah's homemade apple pie. Thanks Love. (got it a day after x-mas)

4. i cook for X-mas dinner and i had them with my besties and Kak Eena was there too. (x-mas eve)

and as the rest of the wish list, i hope i will cancel them out (by next year) with my own effort tho i know now it seemed impossible. (been saving for months now but i have other things in mind)

my DECEMBER, your DECEMBER too

2009-12-24T18:03:00.000-08:00

cold headed, cold blooded woman

bbq

Lasagna---lazatnya

our eye-wears

same grin, same color scheme

she who made my day, everyday.

-all pictures were taken by my nokia 6300, no editting no nothing-

adores.needs.wants.

2009-12-20T06:39:00.001-08:00

2009 so far.

2009-12-19T05:36:00.000-08:00

hey! it is that time again where i recapped the highlights of my life by months.

ready?

JAN- went to Pontianak for a so-called vacation

FEB- Loneliest V-day ever

MARCH- WORST B-day ever

APRIL- lots of outing and hanging out. cant even remember when, where and how

MAY- busiest month ever. juggling with assignments and personal life.

JUNE- final semester, stress, dumped, wtf..? crestfallen..

JULY- graduation trip! best trip to KL ever! what a happy month it was..

AUGUST- got a friggin job and loving every single minute of it.

SEPTEMBER- enlightened RAmadhan and a walk to BE remember

OCTOBER- R.I.P JUNIOR..busiest month at work..all i do is work, work and work

NOVEMBER 28th - I HAVE A BOYFRIEND EH

DECEMBER- still have a long way to go. tho it will be over in a few more days. Well, i gotta say them highlight- lots of outing with besties, lots of dinner, karaoke sessions, GAINING FRIGGIN WEIGHT and sleepovers (still and always will love every single minutes of it)

hopefully, 2009 will be sealed with a .... to remember Ö
and wishing 2010 to be opened with a .... to be remember as well Ö

owh you kids.i know you guys are way too old to fill-in the blanks. so let the -blank- be k?

all i want for christmas is...

2009-12-12T02:15:00.000-08:00

naah... there is no such thing as "is".it has always been "are"..so, this year's x-mas..i've made a list. simply because i can. eheheheheh

dear santa,

i'vee been bad this year.but i sure hope that its not too late to make a wish so that my xmas will be awesome this year..yea..as if..

1. i wish for a SAMSUNG Corby as my phone

2. i wish for a watch.

3. i wish for a SONY PSP

4. and of cause, a digital camera..

5. i want my pc to be upgraded..

6. an Audio System for my humble ride..

7. Noraisah's homemade apple pie!

8. X-mas dinner with my besties..(syah, kak phyda..where u ppl at?)

9. A boyfriend..ooops! got it! (thanks Santa! for the early pressie, wheee)

p/s: i dont know why im making this list even tho i dont celebrate x-mas and i know that this man called canta is not exist..aaaaaaaaaaarrrr!

~have a crappy x-mas and a lousy new year everyone~

t-shirts and headache

2009-11-22T02:47:00.000-08:00

...went shopping with me mum yesterday to buy myself a t-shirt.ONE T-SHIRT.but end up buying 2 t-shirts (one 4 me, one 4 aup) , a pair of pants for my mum, and a cardigan for myself. i come to realised that t-shirts for men are much more appealing and attractive than the ladies. was hoping to get myself a man's t-shirt but the sizes are off for me. there's no sign of "XS" at man's t-shirt department baah! even the "S" size seems like an "L" size for me.

...my head (on the right side) suffers a great pain right this second. i don't feel so good.

...and yeah, thanks Kak Phyda for treating me last night.i owe you one sista!

...

...currently, not in a good mood.palak sakit. sakit gilak gilak.
"so, stay out of my way, stay out of my sight.,stay out of me.
i hate you mothafucka! i hate you!"..says jill to jack.
ok. too much TV for yours truly.

~wedding dress~

2009-11-14T05:48:00.000-08:00

Some say it's not over ‘till it’s over
Guess this is really over now
There's something I gotta say before I let you go
Listen

When you have a fight with him
Sometimes you cry
And feel sad and blue
I become hopeful
My heart aches secretly
Then just a hint of your smile
Can make feel fine again
To keep you from figuring out how I feel about you
Coz then we would drift apart
I hold my breath, bite my lips
Oh, please leave him and come to me

Baby, please don’t take his hand
Coz you should be my lady
I've been waiting for you for so long
Please look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you're wearing
It's not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy

Now I have no more tears left to cry
When I’m by myself I talk to you like you're here
I’ve felt so restless every night
Maybe I’ve known all along this would happen
I close my eyes and dream an endless dream
Please leave him and come to me

Baby, don’t take his hand when he comes to you
Coz you should be my lady
I've been waiting for you for so long
Look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you're wearing
It's not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

Please be happy with him
So that I can forget you
Please forget how miserable I looked
It's going to be unbearably hard for me
For a long while to come

it's been a while ey?

2009-11-12T03:45:00.001-08:00

-since i last hang out with my girlsss..haizz

-last nite, went out with Roza and had dinner with her at some "fancy" restaurant which i dont want mention here cause i happened to like that place a lot so i dont want anyone to ruined the place.you'll get there when i take you there aite? who am i speaking to? *apparently, no one* and then later that night, we had our feet bitten by fish.fish spa baah! and do we like it? yes, we love it!

-been reformating my pc for a gazillion time and it didnt work well..probably need to get "him" to a proper Dr. pc soon. or else? i'll lost it too.duit lagik! gne laa aku tok nak nyimpan duit mun macam tok.maka dah start save duit pakei beli jam baru.*sigh*

-i am too tired to sleep!

-wanna congratulate aisyah for graduating with style! merah menyalaaaa jubah kitak syah!

-mok cuti.kepak.gilak-gilak.

blur blur blur

bunyi aek terjun tok nyuroh aku rasa nak kemeh. deras gilak for a water feature. very distracting. but i like it. kemeh bagus bah.

kaki roza isik ada bulu.

-this has got to be the worst pictures (of me) ever! (who am i kidding? i always look good in pictures)
bad hair day bad hair go away, come again never?
gambar gambar semua blur. pc kmk kinek tok sik ada photoshope. nang isik ada apa apa. cuma ada limewire ajak. *roza, mun ktk boring, tolong edit pictures tok boley ar?*

-hey hey.big bang pun new album me loike! rambut TOP semakin ridiculously awesome! and GD's stares..could just melt my heart (in-spite of that ugly blonde hair) right away. *awwww*

goodbye Tambi Ming Junior

2009-10-27T04:54:00.000-07:00

Junior ninggal ptg tek.sik sempat main dgnnya for the last time. didnt even see him since Sunday.i think i just got a small heart attack when kak Tiah told me hes gone. couldnt catch a breathe for a while. we've been together for 7 years i think and suddenly hes gone.can someone please tell me how do i live after all this?

sikda pet lagik selain goldfish(es) and ikan belaga (ya pun nya dah ready mok "mate")..ya pun sikda respond main dgn cdak.i feel even lonelier now.i miss him already.

...
...
...

out of confusion, comes hallucination.
keep "seeing" things that arent really there.
a lil paranoid i must say.
i was confused and "wrong" in soo many level.

...
...
...

and as for my Junior, you were the best cat i ever had.
there's no cat in the world can be compared to you.
i love you with all my heart and i hope you love me too.
tho you can be a pain in the ass for being misbehaved, i know you're a damn good listener.
you'd find me whenever i call your name.

*Junior Minggggggggggggggggggg!!!*

Rest In Peace my hauntingly-beautiful-black-cat.

my long lost crush's birthday is today

2009-10-02T15:37:00.000-07:00

dedicated to the man who never fails to capture my heart with his "grin" and his "small eyes" and will always make my stomach flew a butterfly? ahahahah..aburame shino? yea.remember him? yea.i found something that his sister wrote in facebook (for him) while i was browsing through his profile..it's been a while since the last time i met that guy..kinda miss the moment where i was crazy,madly in "EVOL" with him..but he didn't even noticed my existance nor my way.fuih..good times good times.. thank God for friends that were always around to keep me ?saint/sane? enuff to live my normal life.

:)

OK..HERE'S what THE NOTE sounded like:

"He is an understanding brother . [TRUE DAT]

A son who picks up mistakes quickly. [CAN IT BE ANY BETTER?]

An altruistic guy-next-door, in other words, not egoistic. [A QUALITY THAT MANY MAN LACK OF]

A modest altar-server [A QUALITY THAT MANY LACK OF]

The most obedient child among the three of us. No kidding [LOL]

A friend who tolerates well. [TRUE]

A person slow to anger, rich in pestering together-gether with his siblings. [JUST WHAT I NEED]

A student who excels in studies. [TRUE DAT]

A devoted DOTA geek. [LOL]

A guy who dresses too much like teenagers." [LOL]

Apparently, the one that very much close to him like his sister sees him like i see him TOO.
im not alone then.

and to my perfect crush: "..blessed birthday aite..hope to see you around SOON.."
i dont know why i bother enuf to posted this since i know he is not going to read it anyway..

woaaahhh

2009-09-29T05:16:00.000-07:00

seems like EVERYONE owned a DSLR camera..

woah..rasa best laa?
bangga laa?
ada org muji?
rasa up laa?
ambik ambik gambar ada effect sikit rasa teror laa?
dah tauk apa reti shutter-speed, aperture and ISO rasa pemandei udah laa?
rasa kaya laa?
ambik family photo pun pakei zoom lense juak rasa hebat laa?

aaaaaah! aku sik heran. aku sik heran. aku sik heran.

*dengki* mode

20092009

2009-09-20T07:39:00.000-07:00

what a remarkable date it is..isnt it?

ANYWAY....SHE'S HERE! SHE'S HERE!
im gonna savor my holiday with HER!
cuz it's been a while since i last saw HER!

~HAPPY SYAWAL EVERYONE~

i'll c u when u get there

2009-09-18T02:53:00.000-07:00

to THE screwed up big time so-called a friend of mine.

...........................................................................

Now Ive seen places and faces
And things you aint never thought about thinking
If you aint peek then you must be drinking
And smokin
Pretending not to locin but youre brokin
Let me get you open
Now little timmy got his diploma and
Little jimmy got life
And tamikra around the corner just took her first hit off the pipe
The other homie shot the other homie and ran off with his money
And when the other homies heard about it they thought that it wasfunny
But whos the dummy
Cuz, now you done lost the hustler
A down-ass brother got replaced by a buster
And though I got love for ya
I know I cant trust ya
Coz my crew is rollin hummers and your crew is rollin dustas
And just because of that you act like you dont like the brother no more
I guess thats just the way it goes
I aint tryina preach
I believe I can reach
But your mind aint prepared
Ill c u when you get there

Chorus:

Ill see you when you get there
If you ever get there
See you when you get there
Ill see you when you get there
If you ever get there
See you when you get there

More temptation and faith
I guess we livin for the day
I seen a man get swept off his feet by a boy with an ak
The situation so twisted everybody gettin lifted
Im just tryin to take care of my kids and handle my business
Coz it way too serious so you gotta pay close attention
So you dont get caught sittin when they come and do all the gettin
Life is a big game so you gotta play it with a big heart
Someones gotta run a little faster cuz we gotta lay the struggle
Id be a fool to surrender when I know I can be a contender
And if everybodys a sinner then everybody could be a winner
No matter you rag collar deep down we all brothers
And regardless of the time somebody up there still love us
Im a scuff and struggle and y'all Im breathless and weak
I just strived my whole life to make it to the mountain peak
Always keep reaching sure to grab on to something
Ill be there when you get there when you wit the sound bumpin

You need to loosen up
And live a little
And if you got kids let them know how you feelin
For your own sake give a little
Oh, you dont want to hear that
You busy tryina stack
And keep them from the joness is taking advantage of your own
The realest homies that youve been knowing for the longest
But some aint missing a good thing until its gone
Could have built an empire if not for the jealousy that divides us
We prefer to keep our eyes shut to describe when
Its something wrong and we desire
So hold your head up high if your poor and righteous
I know time seems right
And the problems seem endless
But at times of despair we gotta pull ourselves together
And if you fell you're out the game then you need to get back in it
Coz nothing worse than a quitter
You gotta face responsibility one day, my brother
So gather up your pity and turn it to ambition
And put your vehicle and drive and stop by my side

As we walk down the road of our destiny
And the time comes to choose which shall it be?
The wide and crooked, on a straight narrow
We got one push to give and one life to live
Stand up for something or lie down in your game
Listen to the song that we sing
Its up to you to make it big
I guess Ill see you when you see me

..................................................

Until then, don't even bother to show your face to me..

090909

2009-09-09T05:22:00.000-07:00

hey, it's wednesday and it's 090909...
9 happened to be my favourite number.

see hui just told me that she is supposed to get married today but for Chinese ?believe?,
it's not a good combination of numbers.

i like today.arrived at work late (around 11am) because i went to a clinic to get some medicine for my itch.and the itch, turned blue.i wonder how on earth it happened.but once i got home and took a warm bath, the colour "blue" were gone. and now, its back to red..

aaah..the itch..
the thought of it..eeeiiissshhhh..

and hey, i like kak phyda's post on the quotation that says,

"..Sometimes, we put up walls,
not to keep people out, but to see
who cares enough to knocked them down.."

ok..the Doctor gave some prescription.so, im on medication now..
pay no mind about what i say aite?

keep you much longer by akon

2009-09-07T04:24:00.000-07:00

Wish I could Keep You Much Longer
I know You gotta Go cuz you got things to do
Wish I could Keep You Much Longer
Now You to Busy for Me Girl like I was To You

Wish I could Stop By
And Maybe Say “Hi”
Wish I could jus Stop By
And Lay By Your Side

The Tables have Turned
And I’ve Finally Learned
That this is Makin' Up for Every Day I was Gone
And that’s Why I’m Concerned
But Now it’s Confirmed
That You Spread Your Wings and Learned to Fly All Alone

Darkness in the Night
I’ll Find that Light for You
As Long as I got Eyes
I’ll have a Sight for You
Long as I am Alive Baby I’d Die for You
I Wanna Be With You

You’re Always On My Mind
While I’m Racin'
While I’m Paper Chasin'
You Were There when I said One Day I’d Get Up Out that basement
Playin as My Agent
For You, There’s No Replacement
You Will Always Be My Girl
and You can Hold Me on that Statement

Darkness in the Night
I’ll Find that Light for You
As Long as I got Eyes
I’ll have a Sight for You
Long as I am Alive Baby I’d Die for You
Wanna Be With You

Baby I Know You
And How We Do
Doin' Exactly What I Taught You
Gotta Get that Money First before You Come Spend that Precious Time with Your Boo
And I know I gotta just Take It
Even though it’s Drivin' Me Crazy
Always Wanted to See My Girl Make It
Ooh-Yeah

Wish I could Keep You Much Longer
I know You gotta Go cuz you got things to do
Wish I could Keep You Much Longer
Now You to Busy for Me Girl like I was To You

(Wish I Could Keep You So Much Longer)

Wish I could Stop By
And Maybe Say “Hi”
Wish I could just Stop By
And Lay By Your Side

it seems like this is what my mum's been trying to tell me..i cant find her time to accompany her to go just about anywhere..i even ask aina to accompany her, if not aina, my cousin kak eeda and my neighbour kak pidot..huaaaaa.. i have my weekends packed with overtime (work) and friends..at night, she's busy with HER kind of activity..aarrrgghhh..

this song..reminds me of my mum..sigh..I MISS ME N MOMMY TIME.I MISS HANGIN' OUT WITH HER.I MISS OUR STOOPID JOKES (we joke JUST ABT ANYTHING). I MISS MY MOM!

goin nowhere

2009-09-01T06:23:00.000-07:00

"i dont have enuf middle fingers to show you how i feel right now"

there are many words that floating in my mind lately.
big words i tell ya.
but it seems like i cant get it out of my system just yet.
keep thinkin' about it over and over and over again.
but still, goin nowhere laar the thoughts!

goin nowhere. goin nowhere. goin nowhere. goin nowhere. goin nowhere. goin nowhere.
goin nowhere. goin nowhere. goin nowhere. goin nowhere. goin nowhere. goin nowhere.
goin nowhere. goin nowhere. goin nowhere. goin nowhere. goin nowhere. goin nowhere.

/: aisyah balit khamis tok, yes?
yippie.
cant wait 2 see ya buddy.
it's been a while since i last saw your pretty face.

addicted to ...

2009-08-25T16:56:00.000-07:00

hello, my name is Laichikang.and i am an addict.
i love maggie mee soo much, i cant help but thinking about it all the time.also, i fantasized a lot of noodle images especially during this ramadhan.i cant help it.my family members tried really hard to make me scared of eating too much of noodles and what it can do to me.but that doesnt stop me. i also adore mee sapi haji salleh nok di Satok ya. must have it at least once a month (used to)..but now, once a week.

im sick.really.
oh God.help me.

15minutes before i got off to work and blogging about my addiction is all i can think of to kill my time.working is tiring.my back is aching.im gonna destroy the chair so that my boss will buy me a new one.