anger management needed

hello, it's friday and it's all good.
just wanted to write something as a moral lesson and examples of -what-not-to-do in the future.

so, for the past two days, my boss was featured in an article in our local newspapers.
of course it is about him being the collector of expensive bicycles in this face of the earth.
they even said his bike is gold plated bike. can you imagine how expensive can one bike be? and he collects about 19 of them. it's crazy and interesting for some people but to me it is just plain crazy.
unacceptable.

most of my mates in the office were shaking our heads, disappointed with our soo-called boss. our managing director.

this weekend, his team (of cyclist from west malaysia) and himself would join a cycling tournament which he sponsored by the way most of the accommodation and entertainment to gain his popularity among cyclistssss in Malaysia. i think those cyclists that he sponsored are so lucky to have to taste his sweet RM whereby us, those who actually work and contribute something to his company get nothing. yes, we get our salary and bonuses at the end of the year and that is it.

every now and then, we talked to one another and hoping something "great" will happened to us in the office, for example, office trip to Sabah or Batang Ai or anything! but no.

but that doesn't break us, still. we can still smile with each other and even to our boss.

for me, i think i have lost my respect towards my boss. he gave this negative energy around me with his narcissism and his ego. he is not humble of what he is and he makes fun of others who "doesn't" make it.

im so furious to work under his company and his name. really. i think, most of us, the staffs, deserved a little more appreciation and acknowledgment from him. we deserved it. we do. we worked with our full determination and dedication and we get nothing but our monthly salary. come on.

oh yea, this week, he put on 2 more CCTV at the office. maybe just to check on us whether we spend to much time talking in the pantry.

i used to feel bad talking bad about my boss like this, but now? not anymore. not anymore. i gave up being the "good guy" here. i just gave up.

weekenders

i just love love love weekends and public holidays.
today, i went for a swim at KBS in the morning,
went for lunch and a little birthday gift shopping for Izzat (Syafiq's brother).
i bought him a play doh because the cho-cho train was too expensive.
now, i have to plan something for Syafiq's and my mum's birthday next month.
so many things to buy but too little money to spend. hah!

a morning swim feels great. since last night i fell sick in the head,
pooped 2 pain killers, went after a goodnight sleep, then i felt better in the morning.
that is why i decided to go for a swim.

saw a dad, bringing his kid (toddler) for a swim and it makes me jealous.
i soo want that in the future.
blah bla blah bla blah.

anyway, i just want to remember the weekend that i've spent with my loved ones.
maybe i 'll just my blog in the weekend, yes?

i used to do photo blogging but now, i dont feel like it anymore.
don't ask me why.

InsyaAllah, i will write again sometimes next week.

nine months of hiatus

hello. it's been awhile. i've been neglecting my humble blog and now i'm back! it's been a great hiatus, not just from blogging, but from facebook as well. i've been calmer now, spiritually and mentally.

i feel like i dont have a heart to face them people in facebook and i'm aching for a real conversation and companionship. but i still keep in touch with others through twitter and tumblr though. sometimes i feel like i understand / know the strangers in twitter and tumblr world better than anyone in facebook. i didn't feel left out at all.

so far, life has been ups and down for me. trying to stay away from as much drama as i possibly can.
it is better this way i guess.

been reading a few books from the author Haruki Murakami too. my favourite so far would be Norwegian Wood. Sputnik Sweetheart, Kafka on the shore and Wind-up bird chronicle were so-so for me. i think this year, i read a lot. compare to the previous years. some independent author like Manu Joseph and Tony Parson were not bad eh. it's just that the books have something that i dont like in common. cheating husbands and infidelity. not my cup of tea i supposed.

keeping myself busy with a little sports too. i'm back playing ping-pong and badminton. it felt great. i get to swim too. aaaahhh. i just love love love spending my time with doing such activity. it makes my day worth while.

so, until next time. bye.

always hopeful but never expect

not even sure what that title would mean.

hopeful. "i hope that tomorrow will be better than today."

expectation. "i expect tomorrow will be awesome and greater than today."

.....

promised that i would post a few pictures of my trip to S'pore here in my humble blog.

so, there you go..

....

oh ya..HAVE A GREAT CHINESE NEW YEAR everyone..

dragon year for the win..

flowers in december

Before i skipped a month post, i just want to let you know that by far, December 2011 has been a heck of series of drama. im not even sure whether it's right or not.

from drama in my office, personal struggle and friendship. Thank God. whatever happened, make me who i am today. Glad to see Joel back in town after all these years. Met up with him with Desmond just the other night. i celebrated new year with my lovely boyfriend at waterfront kuching, just to see a glimpse of fireworks. heh. "madot" in a way but thats okay.

my cousin Azul got married during Christmas and we had tons of fun. So far, it has been the best wedding i have ever attend. Mum and i were dancing and we were singing along to wadever record was playing. Surely a wedding to remember. will post up a few pic of the wedding later.

Weekend at Singapore

Erm, went to Singapore last weekend with Syafiq. Had lots of fun.

Especially at the Universal Studio in Sentosa Island.

Day 1- 051111

. Touch down

. Lunch

. Checked In

. Head down to Orchard Road

. Straight to Arab Street

. I called it a night

Day 2- 061111

. Sentosa Island

. Universal Studio Baby!

. Cable Car

. Marina Bay

. Esplanade

. He called it a night

Day 3-071111

. Breakie at Alesandra's Ikea

. Head down to Changi's Airport

. Chillax at the airport from 1.30pm till our flight at 6.20pm

can you see me in the future?

tadaaa. i am still imagining the future pregnant me.

please read the previous post if you dont know what im talkin' about. woot woot.

random future.

"I think i may have found a good design for my bride of honor dress for my cousin's wedding."

......

Lets just skip the marriage part and straight to pregnancy part instead.

....im imagining myself sun-bathing by the pool or by the beach with my cute bikini on any other the weekend and went swimming in the pool with my baby inside my tummy. i look glowing and definitely cute-r than ever. my boobs obviously would be big and oohh.. my skin, definitely radiant. i will drink/eat/bath milk everyday....

Whoever my husband will be, here's a heads up for you, I PROMISE I WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY as long as the time would allow me to.

Yes. I am that random and lame. So much for such positivity.

So, my friend asked me the other day, why go to pregnancy part and skip the marriage part?

so i told her, thinking of getting married or settling down depresses me.

Sad but true. Seems like everyone is settling down. Honestly, im happy for them. Too bad for me, i dont really trust the ceremony or anything that goes with it. Seems fake but fun. Especially those who planned on having a big, lavishing and a fancy wedding.

I encourage you not to do it!

PEOPLE ARE too focus on the beginning part which is the wedding but not the marriage itself.

Its a big responsibility and a tough commitment to be involved with in the first place.

Dont do it just because everyone is doing it. Its not worth it.

Wonder how i know?

When you know, you just know, you know?

Dinner in, Dinner out

catching up with Roza. It's been awhile.

Been spending money like water i tell you and i cant take it anymore. Im broke right before the middle of the month. Its not like i spend it on buying things. No. Just hanging out and eating out made me broke. i got myself pedicure and did my facial. Went to the saloon so someone could just massage my head. Gosh! i have got to stay at home from this moment on. Till the end of the month at least. Haizz.

Amy's farewell -high tea and dinner. She's leaving because she has a better offer at her fiance's office. They getting married in November. Woah. Such obsession that the fiance has for her make me ...errmmm..... *yawn* . But that is something that most girls would wanna envy her, right? A man that obsessed with her. He controlled her to the point that she would rather lie then confront him even its just going to the movie with a few friends.

I should feel sorry for her. But i dont. Why? She's getting married for God sake.

And that my friends, WOULD CHANGE EVERYTHING!

October-fest?

yeap. i still look like a boy.

And No. im not going anywhere. Its just a title that represent this so-called October. So, teen-years decided to pay me a visit when i suddenly remember the songs of Naruto's soundtrack that i've been listened to. I guess the highlight of me being teenagers was Naruto. There's also The Corrs. Yeap. They decided to drop by somewhere late September. I guess September really ends yea?Thanks Aisyah and Kak Norrafidah for introducing me that. You guys rule.

I know not many knows about this blog of mine. Even if they do, they might have forgotten about it. But that's okay. At least I have a freedom to write or rant whatever i want in here. I have also de-activated my facebook account. Im much a happier person now. Of course there's ups and downs but here i am, trying to celebrate life as it is.

Went to the immigration with mum today to get her a passport. Saw an old friend of mine. Awkward much but i did have a courage to say HI first. I feel awfully lazy today too. Feel like cant get up from my bed.

angry post.

i feel like crying right now. Friday was our 3o months anniversary. He didnt do or say romantic things at all. Arrgghh. i dont want to talk about my boyfriend now.

Called a few friends since last night. Didnt even get a return call. Wanted to talk to them so much. Somehow I feel ignored by them. One said the "attitude" is not cool at all. One said im being "emotional". what can i do when im having a period cramps and theres no one around the house to talk to.

No. No Boyfriend today. Today i feel so alone. Cause hes been ignoring me too.

Didnt make it to my aunty's this morning cause my stoopid uncle went somewhere else. My Aunt and my uncle are going to perform Hajj and i wanted to see them leave.

Why do things didnt go my way lately! i hate working. have to stay late every single day to do this monster-in-humane-corporate-people! Gotta update my CV and resume pronto. I gotta leave from that office.soon.

Aisyah dearest

Please dont be mad at me for not posting your pictures in my blog. i just couldnt find a good picture of myself when im with u. BECAUSE YOURE TOO PRETTY! GOSH! HENCE, im gonna post this few pictures of us during hari raya which i find...ure too pretty and i look like a boy sitting next to you. ahahah. had a great time with you, Syah... and i enjoyed your company all through your holidays... Till next time okay?

When September ends.

these two shots, means a lot to me.

......

Hello. Syawal is ending soon and Eid has been quiet moderate for me. There's also a lot of drama been going on too. but i dont have the heart to write about it because it makes me sad. Just wanted to upload a few pictures to summarize my September .

as you can see, i cut my hair short! it was a long story but the point is, its short!

had a great time cam-whoring with Roza. She left from my house around 1am that night/morning.?

me and my colleagues. this one taken during Ramadhan and Syawal.

Hari Raya Deco that i picked up from here, there and everywhere.

with my beloved cousins.

end of Ramadhan..hello Syawal

As i type, today is the last day of Ramadhan.. Tomorrow is Hari Raya.. Lat year, we didnt really celebrated raya as our beloved Grandmother passed away.. and this year, my uncle is really pressuring himself to celebrate raya in style. we got the house painted -inside and outside. Mum baked 2 types of cakes but i bet it will tasted the same. and yours truly baked a few cookies. no, no they won't taste the same. its gonna be a long day today. lots of things to do. Waiting for Suboh prayer now.

And yeah, i already have a few plans for the upcoming September. on top of the list, water! i dont even know why. okay, toodles.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO ALL READERS.. harap ampun maaf dipinta.. jika ada terkasar/ tersilap bahasa..

The Red Velvet Cake

One of my weekend project.

first attempt of the red velvet cake: succeed. yeay!

HEllo August

and please be nice.

him: *staring at her with a little smile on his face*

her: what are you looking at?

him: you

her: something's wrong? *touching her face in case some left over food laying around on her cheek*

him: no. something right.

her: *touched*

hows Ramadhan has been;

-my Snowie gave birth to 3 beautiful kittens but 1 of them had died.

-been working a lot and on the second day of Ramadhan, i had to work til 9.30pm. had iftar at the office too.

-been missing my boyfriend. barely see him these days. Even if we did see each other, it is only for a short amount of time.

-mama got stung by a bee. seeing her little feet which was swollen makes me giggled. it looks so cute. but she's in pain. how could i.

-socially scared.

that's all for now. toddles.

july has been

so-so. i had enough fun and enough work to handle. been re-evaluating myself too. i have decided that i should talk less about other people and listen more.

Next week, my cousin Raof or Aup will bring his parents to KL to do some shopping for raya. I used to called him a lot of things because he can be very annoying (when we were growing up) and last few June, i did it again and i cant believe it. Cant believe i called him stoopid just because he cant read and count. Hes having dyslexia for God sake. How can i said that to him. i think im the one whos stoopid by saying that. i should have apologized to him the next time i see him.

Been talking a lot. and i hated myself for that. i wish i can press the undo button every time i said something about other people and when i talked non-stop for 10 minutes. just STOP NURUL! JUST STOP!

Dear God, please make it easy for me to get through in this "phase" of life.

Ramadhan is approaching and hopefully, this time around our "ibadah" will be accepted by Him. Insyaallah. Pray hard AND do work smart.. Peace..

our bus-trip

had a great Sunday with my love.

Went for a bus-trip around town with my love. From Saujana to Muara Tabuan to Jalan song and then back to Saujana. Picked him up from his house then we headed for breakfast at Beemers.

Off from Saujana Bus Terminal to one of the Muara Tabuan bus station. From Muara Tabuan, we walked to Stutong park (another 2-3km walk in the park) and then we had lunch at Simply Sedap (not that Sedap afterall). Then we took a bus at KPJ (another 2km walk) to Jalan Song. We headed to One Jaya for a little window Shopping. I had my very first red-velvet cupcake there and it tasted great!

From Jalan Song, we took a bus back to town, Saujana Bus Station that is.

We Met a lot of people and had a good walk! 30000 steps perhaps? We play the guessing-games while waiting for the bus and i think i had wayy too much laugh today. Wasn't even on my medication.

That is all :)

Mid- year holiday

i wish to have this kind of holidays every year. And yeah, Sabah Rocks!

turning-in

Greeeeaaaat...im turning him into Mee Sapi Haji Salleh lover and a cam-whore :)