jinXed pink shirt!

someone has broke my uncle's cars window.
it happen when i was having my history and culture class.
i parked my car, not far from the campus actually.
then , my friend sent my a message saying that someone has broken my car to steal some stuff in it.
lucky for me, it wasnt the player,because i already took it off and kept it some place where i think is safe.
that freakin idiot took the (removable) mirror, the air-filter including the board along with the speaker.
i cant help but feeling guilty the whole day.
my uncle gave me a silent treatment.
it's killing me!

its ironic how the "bad" things happen to me when i wore the exact pink shirt. there was one day, where some guy hit my car when i was wearing that same shirt. i think that shirt is jinx!
im gonna burn that shirt!!! or at least wearing it as pyjamas. im not going out wearing that shirt! EVER! AGAIN!

Mr. Patrus

Had a caunseling session with Mr patrus today.
He was nice.
He was and still is an artist.
But he choose to teach.
And he is also a genius.
Just found out he's the one who do the sculptures at the waterfront.
Im talking to a PRO here.
I guess the quote from jack black in the school of rock movie, "...those who cant Do, Teach! those who cant Teach, teach Gym..." is not working here..to Mr. Patrus
Im inspired!
We were talking about art...mostly.
Its been 14 years since he build that scuplture at the waterfront.
(the metal birds and all that).
His vision is 10 years ahead of us.
Again, im inspired!

FaDe UP

Damn it. I cannot take this anymore. Im too strees out as it is. my room is a mess. Even messier than ever with the notes, the colours, the pens, the papers, the mounting board, the modelling board...OMG...i bought too many stationary already.. Assignment start to pile up..and i only have two hands and one brain.

Social life, ZEROOOOO. Bet it Cant get any worst than that.

I realised most of the LKW students are "hungry" for attention...there's one person who just cant stop butting-in in people's business, and there's another one who is so stupid trying to change's people's life by hving a relationship with a guy who is obviously a jerk...then i suddenly asked her..."Why bother?"

Sometimes, i didnt wanna know or involve with all the "affairs" that going on around the campus but what do i get for being such NOT-NOSY???? some called me "sombong"...

i was like "huh???"

ceh...like i care... what to do...

oh, another thing is...FRIENDSTER is Super-Duper-annoying-thing-??????? and they called it the "IT" thing now???
Especially when there's a picture when everyone is "acting cute", "having a bizzare expressions" and worst...Posing sakan!! ceh...its ok if they took the picture when they're having a great times with their friends, family and celebrities...that is what i called "in the moment"...Cant blame them for that...i think they are just being "greatful-for-having-this-kinds-of-moment"..yea..and i like that..

what else??? oh ya...i think im becoming LIVERPOOL's No. 1 fan...i cant miss their match even it took me to stay up until 2.30am for the kick-off..

Holiday??? somewhere in December...woohoo

~sigh~

cobaan-cobaan

ehem ehem

every time i think of you
i feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
it's no problem of mine, but it's the problem i find
living a life that i can't leave behind
there's no sense of telling me
the wisdom of a fool won't set you free
but that's the way that it goes
and it's what nobody knows
while every day my confusion grow

everytime i see you falling
i get down on my knees and pray
i'm waiting for that final moment
you'll say the words that i can't say

i feel fine and i feel good
i'm feeling like i never should
whenever i get this way
i just dont know what to say
why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
im not sure what this could mean
i dont think you're what you seem
i do admit to myself
that if i hurt someone else
then i'll never see just what we're meant to be

its me and the assignments..

its holiday, but hell a lot of assignments to do. other than times, im lacking of my creative imagination. Like duh...its important. Been listening to panic! at the disco and stabbing westward a lot lately.. Next week, Bulan Puasa Menjelang...its Diet time..hmm masa untuk bertaubat..

kinda sad really..most of my friends will be AWAY this Raya..Aishah(KL), Dina(JOHOR), Imah (RUSSIA), Desmond(MELAKa @ JOHOR>>>i dont know where will he spend his holiday at..), .., .., .., .., who else ar????

Stupid liverpool! they were beaten by the blues..(chelsea)... how come? oh, it is because they play "away" instead of "home".. cheh...that's my opinion la. Oh ya, Bellamy and Kuyt?? Not the best couple so far..Crouch and Bellamy...well maybe.. Oh why oh why. They keep losing and draw and losing and draw..This cannot be happening!!!

>>>mun dah menang, menang jak jak...mun dah kalah, kalah jak jak!!! giney gaya tok>>>

me on a canvas

bad hair day
yes! it is a disaster to every girl.
i cant help it especially when it is a cloudy and windy.

no! everton beat liverpool 3-0! ayaaaaaaaaaaak!
cant wait till tuesday 12/09
liverpool vs PSV
fight O~OH!

my next assignment will be "me on a canvas!"
its really annoying because i have to make a lot of mind-mapping
just to express and analyse who i really am!
i dont even know myself that much..
then i have to paint something that represent ME on the canvas!
after that, i have to do the presentation on the 2nd of oct. Ey?? whose b'day ar???
how troublesome ey!

wooohhhh! next week im going to sematan..for my orientation..
ayo.. why im not happy lei?

new school new rules!

i started to go to school today.(LICT)

it sucks.

met a new friend. (who happen to take Int Design too)

she's from KL. (shah alam)

she's 18.

im not comfortable with the whole environment there.

the students, the lecturers

most students came from all over Malaysia. (Sabah, KL, Bintulu, Miri,Kuching, pluto, jupiter, mars,venus...)

most students have a weird hairstyle and weird dress-sense.

other than that, socialing is the main problem! im not good at making a good first impression >>>>>cause there's nothing to impress about..(belom ada apa-apa, dah nak ada "cyber meet 70's" and a trip to "sematan/lundu") NGAI TEI!

transportation seems like a problem too. fuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

~sigh~

oh ya, most of the students there, love break-dancing...>>>>they even have a club!!

its hard to fit-in!!

there is one boring teacher name "sean"..even by listening to his voice i feel sleepy. He's cute though! but most of my classmates warn me about him...he's strict and serious shit kinda dude!

man, have to spend a lot of money to get all the stationary and the tools...IT COSTS ME A FORTUNE!!!!!

time..

soon! im going to study at Limkokwing studying interior design. Yes, im excited and scared at the same time. But, at the moment, im just using my time... well,most of it, watching some korean/japanese drama through Youtube.com... Yes, its pathedic but i cant help it.

here are some of the series:-
#gokusen
#hana yori dango
#kimi wa petto
#my name is kim sam soon
#full house

Other than that, this coming 31 August will be our national day. Cant wait to see all the fire-crackers..i find it "soothing" in its own way..

i found some NEW hobbies too..
that is, drinking Tea, walking in the rain..(surprisingly, im not running!!), day dreaming and laughing!! wah, what a way to waste my time =p

Well i actually enjoying it! this lonely life of mine..what im trying to say here is.. i have
no more friends to hang around with,
no more smses from anyone.... KIDDING!!!(So, im reluctant to top-up my phone credit)
my cat was having babies..(soo, she kinda ignore me lately),
my mom is working like mad (she'll be retiring soon!),
my cousins will be having their major exams coming,
my grannies ignore me!(hmm dah tua, they couldnt care less about anything!)
my maid ><>

so, there's no one really i can talk too..

it's just my PC and I & MY TIME, MY THOUGHTS, MY DREAMS, MY HOBBIES, MY NEEDS AND OH MY GOD..
im becoming a very very boring person on the planet.. the next time you see or talk to me, you would be saying "YOU BORED ME!!!"

WHOAAAA...WHAT A TIME TO WASTE YA?

AND THE WINNER IS....

REDS CLINCH FIRST SILVERWARE OF THE SEASON
Breakdown
Liverpool 2 - Chelsea 1 *_*
9 mins : GOAL! John Arne Riise: An absolutely outstanding goal from John Arne Riise from outside the box. After stopping a Andriy Shevchenko charge just seconds earlier, Riise ran from well inside his own half right towards the Chelsea area before smashing a low shot beyond Carlo Cudicini.
43 mins : GOAL! Andrei Schevchenko: Clinical finish from the £30m striker after he beat the offside trap
15:03 GMT :half-time reached
60 mins : Substitution: Steven Gerrard for Boudewijn Zenden:
60 mins : Substitution: Xabi Alonso for Jermaine Pennant:
80 mins : GOAL! Peter Crouch: Fantastic cross from Bellamy and Crouch did the rest with a powerful header
15:51 GMT : Match Over

~hmm good game EVERYONE!!!!~
Wahhhhh, i nearly got my prediction right, ey!!!!

chelsea vs liverpool (aug 13, 2006)

FA community shield 2006

ok, surely chelsea has the upper-hand for the up-coming match with liverpool. (5win - 2lose)
still, i believe with RAfa's boys...they can win this match..

shit! john terry, the captain of chelsea team is the next ENGLAND captain. i was hoping it would be Gerrard :(
John terry is a bad boy!! He has a record of assulting in public, overdose drinking and many more nasty stuff..

didier hamman, fernando morientes, djibril cisse were gone..they'd moved on :(
i dont really have a faith with the new/young player in the liverpool's team now.

man, i hate to admit this but i dont think this would be an interesting season for liverpool.
but im looking forward what has RAfa been doing since this is his fourth season with the team

PREDICTION : 1-3 hahahaahhahaha

6 days

~kudos to Dj shadows...this song is brilliant.
i dont even know what this song is all about..NO?~

at the starting of the week
at summit talks you'll hear them speak
its only monday
negotiation breaking down
see those leaders start to frown
it's sword and gun day

tomorrow never comes until its too late (2X)

you could be sitting taking lunch
the news will hit you like a punch
its only tuesday {what time is it??}
you never thought we'd go to war
after all the things we saw
it's april fool's day {what time is it??}

tomorrow never comes until its too late (2X)

you'll hear a whistling overhead
are you alive or are you dead??
its only thursday {what time is it??} [hey, where did wednesday go?]
you feel a shaking underground
a billion candles burn around
is it your birthday?? [let alone friday and saturday]

tomorrow never comes until its too late (XXX)

??????i'm confused??????

reseting my standard (of going out with a guy)

i will not go out with a man who hasn't asked me out first.
*because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.

i will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone.
*men know how to use the phone.

i will not date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me.
*"hanging out" is not dating.

i will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable.
*if he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgement isn't impaired.

i will not be with a man who's afraid to talk about our future.
*loves cures commitment-phobia.

i will not, under circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me.
*"i don't want to go out with you" means just that.

i will not date a man who is married ( and other insane variations of being unavailable).
*if you're not able to love freely, it's not really love.

i will not be with a man who is NOT clearly a good, kind, loving person.
*if you really love someone, you want to do things to make that person happy.

~AGREE????~

life's getting harder to live

just got back from KL.
15/7/06
-shah alam-arrived in KL and when straight to shah alam...TIRED
16/7/06
-shah alam-went to the wedding ceremony and later in the evening went to the "landscape exhibition" at lake garden Taman Tasek Perdana KL...AWESOME
17/7/06
-somewhere near serdang-had lunch at some relatives houses...IM FULL
18/7/06
-subang-my aunty haddiah sent me to kak Lina's house. she just moved to a new house, a really really cool house. modern kindda house, 4 storey- detached house with free swimming pool and playground. help her unpacked her and her new hubby's belongings, taking care of her 4-month infant...DAMN TIRED
19/07/06
-subang-didnt had any breakfast there because my kak lina is so fucking lazy to cook and i have to wake up early to send her kids (step-sons) to school (her hubby ask me to drive their new toyota yaris) but anyway, her hubby Bg Hamzah (well, both of them) just cant stop to bossing me around after that. Do this, Do that, Clean this, Clean that!...IM FREAKIN PiSSED
sending "S.O.S" message to my cousin Kak Ruzy to pick me up from hell..yeah hell
20/7/06
-damansara-kak Ruzy with my beloved uncle, WA Hel and Aunt Kate came to the rescue. Went to IKEA and meet Bg Azul there to buy some stuff for his new apartment. Oh, this Bg Azul is my cousin that enggaged last March but last month, he just break off the enggagement. And now im having HUGE, BIG, ENORMOUS crush with him...OOOOOOOOOO
21/7/06
-damansara-Went to "THE CURVE, IKEA, IKANO POWER CENTRE and CINELEISURE" alone and i've been wandering there for about 4 hours...AAAAHHHHH
22/7/06
-damansara- went to midnite bazaar "pasar tengah malam" to buy LIVERPOOL'S t-shirts with Kak Ruzee. Then, i met ALIFF from "one in a million" at some food stall. But i couldnt be bother by him because liverpool vs bayer lev playing live in the espn. liverpool won 3-1...HMMM
23/7/06
-damansara- went to see "pirates of the carribean 2"at cineleisure and saw AHMAD IZHAM OMAR (one of the ceo of 8tv and the positive tone records) at the STARBUCK. had dinner at the THAI'S BASE and then went back to subang..NOOOOOO
24/7/06
IM BACK IN KUCHING

he will never be mine

This guy, was my classmate and a good friend of mine. We've been through so much together. From eating his "birthday egg" on his birthday, joking around until my PA teacher scold us for having too much laughter, playing riddles, sharing our dirty little secrets, doing our homeworks together, failing our exams, visiting my house during Hari Raya and so much more.

~what a memory~

Things change (for me) when we had our first date soon after STPM was over. We went to see a movie and had a candle light dinner. It was the greatest night EVER!!
But still, we are not together. Why? Maybe it because of me trying to play mind-game with him.. you know, give him times to confess..but by that time, it was too late..he's already belongs to someone else.. ~He leave me clueless~

Again, things changed after he leave to KL to further his study. He's been messaging (almost everyday) me.
~hey, its not me who make myself looks available, arrr~

At first i thought he's being flirty and stuff. Never occured to me that he will take a fool like me seriously..things getting serious by then..

And recently, its his birthday..well, to make the story short, we confessed..that we like each other..he knew, that this is going to be very unfair for me

All i can do is nothing. We cant be together because he's attached to another woman, unless i make myself too cheap and ready to share him. (hmm that will be another story la)

Been thinking, its not fair for me, not fair even for "her" to share him. if i can make him to choose between the 2 of us, i will surely lose..
It shouldn't be this way. but these words cant seems to come out whenever i talked to him. sometimes, i just wish i can cut him off from my life..then, i wouldnt have to hurt much.
but...im not ready to loose him as yet..(as a friend)

Another day, goes by..
I realised, most of the things that happened in my life, i didnt do anything about it. NOT A THING. Never take any risk, or even do something about it..
I dont understand why.

I have another life i've got to concentrate..
better stop fooling around b4 this ruin me..
I think I should let it go..

I'm a HULK??????

Your results:
You are Hulk

Hulk 70% Spider-Man 60% Green Lantern 60% Robin 55% The Flash 55% Superman 50% Supergirl 40% Iron Man 30% Batman 25% Wonder Woman 25% Catwoman 25%

You are a wanderer with amazing strength.

yesterday was hell

Life is getting tougher than i thought.
I didnt get accepted into the local University.
chest pain, chest pain
i cant barely breath

My life is officially over...

I keep telling myself that this is only the beginning.
But who am I kidding?
I cried until there was no more tears...
Really dissapointed.

Whats seems to be the difference between me and those who have failed?
Sama saja!!
I guess this is the lowest point of my life.
Its kinda sucks, seeing your dreams slips right through your hands.
And what you can do is...nothing
Absolutely... nothing

But in spite of having tremendous mood swing this couple of days, I still can make jokes to my friends..telling them i want to commit suicide at Gunung Serapi...Of course im kidding...
But they think im real...Desmond even checked on me by calling me just to make sure im alive, breathing and kicking... thanks Desmond! I know now that i will always have your back (belakang/sokongan aaah).

Most of my friends are about to/already/almost completed their higher learning..
Me?
Im a loser(BIG LOSER) and they shining like the sun...(ey, sounds familiar???)
I have to start all over again...Cause i have to start from diploma if im going for IPTS
I've wasted my 1.5yrs doing form 6..
1yr (6month after spm, 6 month after stpm) waiting 4 results ipta come out.. and now???

MY YOUTH IS DEFINITELY WASTED!!!!!

well, anyway...congrats to those who got accepted...
i wish all of you the best of luck...

~~LIFE IN MONO~~

ANGEL OF DEATH??????

LOVE this picture. Epitomy of PERFECTION. Its dark, cold, scary (its a grave yard, for God sake) and yet, its B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.... its a perfect definition of "LIFE IN MONO".

-COURTESY FROM DEVIANTART.COM-

the freedom of a girl

the above matters.

if a girl when out at night, her parents will worry.
if a girl hang out "somewhere" and came home late at night, people will her a SLUT.
if a girl wear something "vulnerable", men will think she is CHEAP.
if a girl dont do her chores, her mom will call her LAZY.
if a girl got PMS, people think she is WEAK.
if a girl kiss a boy, peple will assume, she is HORNY.
if a girl has an interest in football, boys will think that shes just trying to FIT-IN.
if a girl confess that she has a "feeling for a boy", he may think she is "EASY".
if a girl screams (singing a rock song), well.. her brothers may think shes going INSANE.
if a girl loves make-up/do her hair/facial/spa/manicure and padicure, guys will think shes HIGH-MAINTAINENCE.


**********but all the girls just wanna have fun**********

what is actually a girl's freedom?
basically, there are only a few things that i can think of that i soo called it freedom.
actually i have none!

over my head.

i never knew,
i never knew that everything is falling through
that everyone i knew was waiting in a cue
to turn and run when all i needed was the truth
but dats how its gotta be
its coming down to nothing more than apathy
id rather run the other way than stay and see
the smoke and who's still stand when its clears

everyone knows im in over my head
over my head
with 8 seconds left in over time
shes on your mind
shes on your mind

lets rearrange
i wish u were a stranger i could disengage
just say dat we agree and then never change
soften a bit until we all just get along
but thats disregard
find another friend and you discard
as you lose the argument in a cable car
hanging above as the canyon comes between

and suddenly i become the part of your past
im becoming the part that dont last
im losing you and its effortless
without a sound we lose sight of the ground
in the throw around
never tot dat u wanted to bring it down
i wont let it go down till we torch ourselves


*those sentences that have been bold, it means a lot to me.
i wish i can say it to someone..but im powerless to do it.
And to that "someone", nah, he dont even like blogging. let alone to read one, hmmph...

snow brigade

enable to bring out that something
u want to know beneath the snow
in winter u show an affection
that repeatedly defeated me

because

c/o

i'll find u somewhere
show u how much i care
know that there is no escape from my snow brigade

bring out that someone
u need to see, for jealously
we all know one day, u'll leave behind
ur everything
and feel the spring come

c/o

my arms retreat
i wish they were there
to hold u



~i'm loving this song~ lalalalalalala~