This guy, was my classmate and a good friend of mine. We've been through so much together. From eating his "birthday egg" on his birthday, joking around until my PA teacher scold us for having too much laughter, playing riddles, sharing our dirty little secrets, doing our homeworks together, failing our exams, visiting my house during Hari Raya and so much more.
~what a memory~
Things change (for me) when we had our first date soon after STPM was over. We went to see a movie and had a candle light dinner. It was the greatest night EVER!!
But still, we are not together. Why? Maybe it because of me trying to play mind-game with him.. you know, give him times to confess..but by that time, it was too late..he's already belongs to someone else.. ~He leave me clueless~
Again, things changed after he leave to KL to further his study. He's been messaging (almost everyday) me.
~hey, its not me who make myself looks available, arrr~
At first i thought he's being flirty and stuff. Never occured to me that he will take a fool like me seriously..things getting serious by then..
And recently, its his birthday..well, to make the story short, we confessed..that we like each other..he knew, that this is going to be very unfair for me
All i can do is nothing. We cant be together because he's attached to another woman, unless i make myself too cheap and ready to share him. (hmm that will be another story la)
Been thinking, its not fair for me, not fair even for "her" to share him. if i can make him to choose between the 2 of us, i will surely lose..
It shouldn't be this way. but these words cant seems to come out whenever i talked to him. sometimes, i just wish i can cut him off from my life..then, i wouldnt have to hurt much.
but...im not ready to loose him as yet..(as a friend)
Another day, goes by..
I realised, most of the things that happened in my life, i didnt do anything about it. NOT A THING. Never take any risk, or even do something about it..
I dont understand why.
I have another life i've got to concentrate..
better stop fooling around b4 this ruin me..
I think I should let it go..
6 comments:
LoL.. well at least u got through by expressing it.. Let time tell all. u can't expect everything to unveil now rite? Stay strong gurl ;)
its the first time i ever feel like this. im always wrapped up in things i cannot win. i guess for me there's just no hope.. *give up*
ooo...sape tu?
hmmm, u think?? if i tell u, then i have to kill u...muahahahahha *evil smile*
I know who's that guy! I know!! Your first time ka? First time being proposed by the guy instead of you yourself? Hehehehe..(don't know who's talking)
soo sad..
i'm kinda feeling like this right now..
but the difference is he just ignores me, not that he has another gf..
i thought that he ignores me just because of the distant and stuff but he ignores me more right now though i'm in Kuching..though he knows that the net time he'll be seeing me again is in 2 years time..
his mom is being sick and he's being so down spoken since then..
but it's unfair..
at least he shows a sign that he notice that i'm here..
my friends even say that he's trying to avoid me..
it's freaking sick when the love that we have been devoted years before just being turned down just like that isn't it..
hoho..sorry for sharing this with you.. we dont know each other anyway..but i feel really generated to say this after reading ur entry..
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