can you see me in the future?

tadaaa. i am still imagining the future pregnant me.

please read the previous post if you dont know what im talkin' about. woot woot.

random future.

"I think i may have found a good design for my bride of honor dress for my cousin's wedding."

......

Lets just skip the marriage part and straight to pregnancy part instead.

....im imagining myself sun-bathing by the pool or by the beach with my cute bikini on any other the weekend and went swimming in the pool with my baby inside my tummy. i look glowing and definitely cute-r than ever. my boobs obviously would be big and oohh.. my skin, definitely radiant. i will drink/eat/bath milk everyday....

Whoever my husband will be, here's a heads up for you, I PROMISE I WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY as long as the time would allow me to.

Yes. I am that random and lame. So much for such positivity.

So, my friend asked me the other day, why go to pregnancy part and skip the marriage part?

so i told her, thinking of getting married or settling down depresses me.

Sad but true. Seems like everyone is settling down. Honestly, im happy for them. Too bad for me, i dont really trust the ceremony or anything that goes with it. Seems fake but fun. Especially those who planned on having a big, lavishing and a fancy wedding.

I encourage you not to do it!

PEOPLE ARE too focus on the beginning part which is the wedding but not the marriage itself.

Its a big responsibility and a tough commitment to be involved with in the first place.

Dont do it just because everyone is doing it. Its not worth it.

Wonder how i know?

When you know, you just know, you know?

Dinner in, Dinner out

catching up with Roza. It's been awhile.

Been spending money like water i tell you and i cant take it anymore. Im broke right before the middle of the month. Its not like i spend it on buying things. No. Just hanging out and eating out made me broke. i got myself pedicure and did my facial. Went to the saloon so someone could just massage my head. Gosh! i have got to stay at home from this moment on. Till the end of the month at least. Haizz.

Amy's farewell -high tea and dinner. She's leaving because she has a better offer at her fiance's office. They getting married in November. Woah. Such obsession that the fiance has for her make me ...errmmm..... *yawn* . But that is something that most girls would wanna envy her, right? A man that obsessed with her. He controlled her to the point that she would rather lie then confront him even its just going to the movie with a few friends.

I should feel sorry for her. But i dont. Why? She's getting married for God sake.

And that my friends, WOULD CHANGE EVERYTHING!

October-fest?

yeap. i still look like a boy.

And No. im not going anywhere. Its just a title that represent this so-called October. So, teen-years decided to pay me a visit when i suddenly remember the songs of Naruto's soundtrack that i've been listened to. I guess the highlight of me being teenagers was Naruto. There's also The Corrs. Yeap. They decided to drop by somewhere late September. I guess September really ends yea?Thanks Aisyah and Kak Norrafidah for introducing me that. You guys rule.

I know not many knows about this blog of mine. Even if they do, they might have forgotten about it. But that's okay. At least I have a freedom to write or rant whatever i want in here. I have also de-activated my facebook account. Im much a happier person now. Of course there's ups and downs but here i am, trying to celebrate life as it is.

Went to the immigration with mum today to get her a passport. Saw an old friend of mine. Awkward much but i did have a courage to say HI first. I feel awfully lazy today too. Feel like cant get up from my bed.

angry post.

i feel like crying right now. Friday was our 3o months anniversary. He didnt do or say romantic things at all. Arrgghh. i dont want to talk about my boyfriend now.

Called a few friends since last night. Didnt even get a return call. Wanted to talk to them so much. Somehow I feel ignored by them. One said the "attitude" is not cool at all. One said im being "emotional". what can i do when im having a period cramps and theres no one around the house to talk to.

No. No Boyfriend today. Today i feel so alone. Cause hes been ignoring me too.

Didnt make it to my aunty's this morning cause my stoopid uncle went somewhere else. My Aunt and my uncle are going to perform Hajj and i wanted to see them leave.

Why do things didnt go my way lately! i hate working. have to stay late every single day to do this monster-in-humane-corporate-people! Gotta update my CV and resume pronto. I gotta leave from that office.soon.